Kristine's New Adventure

2012-02-17T09:25:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I was out skiing with youth from my church on a youth event. It was a wonderful and beautiful day. We enjoyed being outside and in the sun. It's been great to be out skiing more this winter. I have been enjoying a season pass to Welch where I have been out quite a few times.

Anyways...I was with 3 of my youth and we were going down the rollers at Afton. I love the rollers! I typically go on them dozens of times a day when at Afton (they are the only place around here that have them). This particular day they were higher and icier than normal. I got a large amount of speed on them and ended up getting some air off of one and landed half way up another roller on the edge of my ski's which caused me to fall and twirl around on the ground. My ski's never popped off so this caused my knee to pop and crack a few times. It was probably the most pain I have ever been in in all my life. I was able to get my skis off and move my legs a bit. At first I thought I may be just fine and be able to continue skiing for the day. Once I got up I realized the amount of pain in my right knee. I hobbled to the side of the hill and again contemplated trying to ski down so that I didn't bother anyone but thankfully I got some common sense to not do that.

We eventually waved down a ski school teacher who got a ski patrol. They shuttled me to the bottom on the back of a snowmobile and I was greeted by my youth and a wheel chair when we arrived at the bottom of the hill. Thankfully a friend from church was there with Blizzards (ski club) and he was able to meet us also, drive us home and eventually bring me to the Emergency Room.

The ER did x-rays. The x-rays didn't show any brakes or fractures so I was pretty sure I was in the clear (and I might be). I was blessed to have some good friends take ridiculously good care of me throughout the weekend which included getting up with me in the middle of the night when I was in tears with pain and couldn't get off of the couch.

On Tuesday I went to Tria and saw an orthopedic who said because of the swelling I will need an MRI. He is guessing I tore my ACL or meniscus which would ultimately result in surgery. Hopefully the MRI will happen soon and I will know more.

God is teaching me a lot. It's not easy for me to be at the mercy of others which is what I am right now. I can't drive or put my own shoes on. So I am just trying to learn to soak in God's goodness and how He blesses abundantly even though this has been difficult for me. I know it's temporary, that thousands of people go through this a week and that I will heal and maybe even have a good scar.

2011-12-21T11:30:00.001-08:00

2011-12-21T11:26:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas to All! Thought I would share something a friend sent to me.

December 21, 2011

All By Myself
Samantha Reed

“My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” Psalm 25:15-16 (NIV)

Don’t look his way, my heart and mind insist.
I don’t want to look. Then again, I do. Though I did not check the “Plus One” box on my RSVP card, I wish I had. I wish I hadn’t come alone. Maybe then I wouldn’t gravitate to him.
He’s reckless and destructive. I know better, but he’s the only one who can relate to me. Even so, I avoid eye contact; I must trick him to believe she doesn’t need me anymore.
I succeed, until another joined-at-the-hip couple walks into the holiday party. My resolve walks out. He walks up to me, extends a knowing hand. Fingers entwine, I fall in his snare. My stomach lurches. I hate him. I hate Loneliness.
I hate feeling alone and attending life all by myself.
We float from couple to couple. Each marriage, baby, holiday, life-is-grand story runs together like mud. The mud Loneliness slings my way: You’ll never have this. You’ll be lonely forever.
I can’t look at their joy. Instead I turn my eyes to him as I mutter repeatedly through my clinched jaw and cinched heart: Do. Not. Cry.
A deep breath holds back the lonely tears, the lonely years, the lonely fears.
His cruelty seeps in my pores as we make our way from conversation to conversation. Christmas carols in the background promise it’s the best time of the year and tell tales of sleigh rides taken with loved ones. Lovely sentiments, but they make me feel even more alone in a crowded room. How can two hours feel like thirty years?
By the time the clock chimes an acceptable hour to bid my goodbyes, I’m eager to be gone. One step out the door and I lower my guard too soon. Loneliness has saved his best for last. Powerfully, he beats me down with lies until I believe: I will always be all-by-myself.
Then Loneliness walks off; leaves me there, ironically, alone.
Compassionately, a different hand reaches down. One that is gentle and healing. Let me help you up. Rough night, huh?
I look up to see His scared hand extended. How’d You know I was here?
He tells me He’s been there the whole time, always near. And even though He knows, He asks for details, dreams, despairs. We talk until I can hear His assurances over the barrage of Loneliness’ discouragement.
Hollow parts of my heart fill with the lavish warmth of Jesus’ courage. Truth soldiers through my thoughts, throwing shields up against the deception. And I know Loneliness can’t be my “Plus One” – my go-to guy. I need to rely on my Only One – my Always Near.
It’s time to break-up with Loneliness for good. Not just at parties, during holidays or weekends with nothing planned. Because truth is, Loneliness also courts my friends who are married, have children and all that I long for. Loneliness tags along whether alone or surrounded by family and friends, on special days and ordinary days.
There’s only one way to keep Loneliness from being a constant companion in life. I must fix my eyes “ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare” of feeling alone. I need to invite Him to attend the lonely times with me, and hold my hand, keeping me company with the truth that He is always by my side.
And the next party I’m invited to? I won’t go all by myself. Instead I’ll invite the Lord as my “Plus One.”

Dear Lord, my eyes are ever on You, for only You will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Oh you know...

2011-11-17T11:15:00.001-08:00

Last Friday we did the burial for my mom. It was a beautiful day. It was about 50 degrees outside, sunny and no rain. We gathered at Lakewood Cemetery in the chapel. We kept it small, close family and some close friends and of course Bob was there also. My brother's priest conducted the service and did a fantastic job! I couldn't get enough of his words of assurance from scritpure and promises of God's provision and that we WILL be united with our loved ones again in Heaven. We each wrote letters (children and grandchildren and Bob) that were read at the service. They began with since you've been gone...Mine read: Since you’ve been gone I think about you all the time. I think about our trips to Starbucks where you loved to drink your “yummy coffee” and eat something sweet while we would look out the big picture window. I remember the long chats we would have over our special coffees about current happenings in both our lives, our thoughts and feelings, you would share about your garden and Bob and sometimes stories from being a child. Since you’ve been gone I try not to take time for granted because what I wouldn’t give for more time with you here on earth, for one more hug, one more cup of coffee, to hear one more story. Since you’ve been gone I continually try and apply the many things you taught me to my life. I remember the time we were at the doctor. You were awaiting getting a CT scan to see if cancer had spread throughout your body. In order to have the CT scan you needed to drink this terrible pink stuff. When the second dose of the pink stuff came I had to run to the bathroom. I was amazed when I came back because you had drank the whole thing. I asked “mom did you drink this all” and you said “yes honey, sometimes in life there will be things you don’t want to do and you need to just do them because it’s the right thing to do”. I remember the stories and examples you showed to us of continual, unconditional love and try and apply that to all I am in interaction with. Since you’ve been gone I remember to pray continually. I remember one night when you were living in your apartment you called me and asked if I would come over because you were scared. I came over to spend the night. I shared the bed with you (which I hated to do because you always talked in your sleep). As we laid there waiting to fall asleep you said “honey could you say a prayer”. Another moment after I picked you up from Bob’s to head to a chemo appointment we got stuck in a terrible thunderstorm. The wind and rain was heavy and my car was swaying back and forth. We grabbed hands in the midst of the storm and prayed together. Within minutes the winds dyed down and we were able to continue on our journey. Since you’ve been gone I wonder what heaven is like. I wonder if you are playing cards with Uncle Tom, Dick, and John like you always wanted to. I wonder what your palace is like there, if you are looking down on us, and can’t wait to hear about all your experiences there when I eventually join you. Since you’ve been gone I realize how much I love you, how I miss you more than I ever could’ve imagined, and how you were and are an amazing mother. While I am here on earth I will continually carry you in my heart, share with others about you, talk about you often, and continue to strive to be a better person because of you! Philippians 1:3 reads “I thank my God every time I remember you with prayers of thanksgiving”. Love you and miss you Mom and will remember you always! It was a good day to be ttogether with family and to grieve my mom's loss in a new way. When we had the original funeral I had very little tears. I think as we have waited and known that this burial is still coming I have been putting my grief on hold or it has plateaued. Even though Friday was quite tough I feel some weights being lifted off of my shoulders. When times get really difficult I remember the assurances from scripture that pretty soon I'll get to be with my mom again and what glorious news that is!

A good devotional

2011-11-17T11:14:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine sent me this good devotional I thought I would share with all of you :). enjoy!WHEN WE SHOULD BE ANXIOUS FOR NOTHINGBe anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7Anxiety is such a waste of time and energy for a believer. It is not only exhausting and depleting , it doesn't get us anywhere, Of course, if we didn't know the Lord and did not have His Holy Spirit living in us, we would certainly have reason to be anxious. For then our life would be on the line every day and one failure could destroy it. But not so with those of us who walk with God. We already recognize that without Him we can do nothing lasting and good. And we also know that when tough times happen, we can pray and God will give us a peace that cannot be found any other way. When difficult things happen in your life, go immediately to God and give your burden to Him. Offer up praise and worship, no matter how low you feel. Thank Him that He is the God of the universe for whom nothing is impossible. Pray specifically about the situation you are in, tell Him what you want Him to do, explain to Him how you feel, and don't stop until you have that peace that is beyond comprehension. This means it won't make sense that you have such peace in the situation you're in except that it has come from God. The peace that God gives you puts a shield around your heart and mind. It takes control away from your fear and doubt. It evaporates anxiety. there is a distinct connection between prayer and the peace of God. So at the first sign of anxiety a, go where you know peace can be found. Why give anxiety a moment of your time when you can pray about what is making you anxious? Pray for yourself that anxiety has no place in your heart. Pray you will not waste your time and energy on something so unnecessary.*Prayer*Lord, I pray You would help me to reject anxiety at the first sign of it. No matter what is happening, help me to turn to You in prayer. Teach me how to truly cast my fear, care and burdens on You.. Enable me to pray in power about the things that are heavy on my heart, always praising and thanking You the You hear my prayer and answer in Your way and Your time.I specifically lift up to You the concerns that are heaviest on my heart right now. Thank You that as I give these cares to You, You will give us Your peace that is beyond what we could ever know on our own. I pray Your peace will be so deep in my heart that it will protect my mind from being eaten up with fearful thoughts and my strength from being depleted by exhausting worry. Remind me to share my concerns with You right away and not waste valuable time and energy entertaining anxiety. Help me to be anxious for nothing. Thank You for Your amazing peace that triumphs over all my fears.

Update

2011-11-06T07:54:00.000-08:00

I often times compare being a Christian to playing the guitar. I'm not super great at the guitar so it is easy for me to compare the two. The reason why I say this is because I feel like in both situations I always have so much to learn. God never stops teaching me new lessons about Him. Recently I have seen God work in the lives of people around me and at times can even feel that God is perhaps using me to share His light with others around me. I know that is God's call for our lives to share His love and light to all, everywhere. I've noticed it lately with smiles from people, opportunities for conversation with those I don't usally have, and at church just seeing more people in worship and a part of the things we aim to do here for Jesus.

This Friday my family will be burrying my mom. I know it sounds weird since she passed away a year and a half ago but alas here we are. Thinking about it has brought mixed feelings to my mind. It has brought up feelings and thoughts I haven't dealt with in quite sometime. I think it will be good and bring some good closure. I miss her a great deal and at times think I am still in shock from her passing, so perhaps this will help.

Julianna is a year and a half now...wow and is so prescious to each of us. She is walking, running, and even practicing some words. Christian is 7 1/2 and a joy to all of us. Hard to believe on the other hand I have a 21 year old nephew, wowsers.

God is so awesome and His blessings are a new each and every day. May you find some today!

The need for a bit of silence

2011-09-12T11:18:00.000-07:00

With being away from All Saints for two years I forgot the intensity of the fall season and getting ready for it. I've found my days to be pretty full lately with getting bulletin boards up and ready for training sessions, a new season of Confirmation ministry, retreats and senior high stuff and well that should pretty much cover it. This past Friday I stayed late and tried to work particularly hard so that Saturday could be a day of rest before the big event of Rally Day. I accomplished my task and Saturday was great! I slept in, got together with a good friend, did some disc golfing, made some yummy dinner, watched some tv and headed to bed.

Yesterday (Sunday) was full of many wonderful festivities including a great morning at church, time working in the office, and youth activities. I arrived home finding that I was craving some silence. I do not do nearly as good as I need to with doing as Psalm 46:10 says "be still". I sat at my table with my Bible open. I began reading scripture in pure silence and found it to be so refreshing. I found myself reading and soaking in God's work for almost an hour. I have been watching seasons of the show Friends and find that when I am home I want to turn it on to watch, it's almost become an addiction and interferred a bit with my quiet time with the Lord. As I walked around my apartment after spending time with the Lord the thought of turing on the tv or any other noise seemed to be not a good idea.

How nice it is with the many different noises in our lives to take some time to shut it off and feel the presence of the Lord!!!

A Special Place!

2011-08-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

You may laugh as you read this as I am laughing as I look back on a little over 3 years ago I prepared to head out on what I thought would be a disaster...joining a Youth Encounter team. If you know me you know that the beginning for sure was not easy. The first day particularly was brutal...gosh awful.

Last weekend I attended the annual Youth Encounter Homecoming Concerts in the morning. Homecoming is at the end of the ministry year and celebrates a year of teams being on the road and one final time together for teams to perform and for others to celebrate with them, etc. (it's hard to believe just 2 years ago my team was doing their final program). It was special to be there and to be a part of Youth Encounter again. I feel like it is such a special place for me and one of the few places I feel like I can be myself.

I was talking after the concerts with the person that recruited me and talking about Youth Encounter and how special it is to me and that I feel like it's the best decision I ever made with my life. I guess the moral in this is that even though their were some really rough moments for me in that year God was and is so faithful to bring me through and my life is forever changed because of it. So...if their are trials you are experiencing right now maybe you can think of looking at the light at the end of the tunnel and find that God is there. Jesus says "in this life you will have troubles but take heart I have overcome the world."

Thanks be to GOD!

Another Thought

2011-08-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

Another thing that has been a part of the summer is a Tuesday morning Bible Study which we call caffeine, Kristine and Jesus. The caffeine part is because we meet at the coffee shop. We read through the book of James and are now starting "Kristine's favorite Psalms" . I thought i'd share one that is a goodie, hope you enjoy!

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

SUMMER!

2011-08-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

It has been a great summer so far. I find myself remembering how summers were a few years ago when I was working here as well. Consumed with a trip to camp and most recently our mission trip to Montana. The Montana Mission Trip was quite the experience. You can read about it at montanamissiontrip.blogspot.com. This mission trip stood out to me in several different ways and really impacted my life. I think I found myself more relaxed as a youth director. My kids behaved themselves which makes it a lot easier for me because then I can focus on the stuff that I feel called to do like serving and building relationships. God blessed us with great unity together, safety, no one got sick. In a unique way too I think God spoke to me through this trip and helped me with things I wrestle with in my own life. I think it helped me with my lingering grief and helped me to know that I am where I am supposed to be (which is a good feeling).

Also this summer it's been great to be active here in the community. The youth group and I have started what we call "pie nights". IT started really small and has grown into quite the thing. Basically what we do is bring a pie to a persons house, eat it with them, then the persons house we are at comes with us to the next house and so on and so on. I've been seeing God work in and through this as well.

Personally I find that I am desiring to go deeper with Lord but at times (like all of us feel so distant). I find that my prayer life and devotion life has been a little off and I need to make the steps to get it back on. I've been feeling a little anxious lately (nothing big just here and there) on my way to church this morning I did something I used to do daily...I prayed outloud and asked the Lord to be with me today and bring me peace. It was quite incredible actually I felt a light breeze come across and felt instant peace. I should also mention I had my windows closed and my air conditioning was off. I know it was the Lord bringing me His presence! Thanks be to God hugh?

These are my random thoughts for the day!

Another Adventure

2011-07-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

Oh Summer such a wonderful time of the year. I used to remember my mother saying in December "honey is it ever going to be summer". Summer is so great with warm weather, rain and for me a few trips. I returned two weeks ago from a great week at Bible camp with youth from our church. It was a great time of faith & relationship building, fun and more.

Tomorrow we will leave for our summer mission trip. This year we will be going to the Northern Cheyenne Indian Reservation in Lame Deer, Montana. I am very excited as I have never been to Montana before. I'll be taking 31 youth and 3 other adults and we will be serving the week with Youth Works. You can keep the group in your prayers and track progress at www.montanamissiontrip.blogspot.com.

Yeah! Kristine

Another Reunion!

2011-07-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe it has already been a year since I met up with some friends from Hong Kong last July. Yet, the time came again. This year, my friends Charles and Ivan who are teachers at MCDH in Hong Kong led their third team to South Dakota for what they call International Interface. I drove down on Sunday evening to meet up with the group and of course to see friends Charles and Ivan again. My time there was almost like Deja-vu. One of the volunteers down there arranged a place for me to stay and it made me feel like I was on a Youth Encounter team again.

The fourth of July was a very special time for me to be with the team. I think we get almost numb to the festivities of Independence Day but for these people it was their first time to experience and experience they did. The team dressed in red, white or blue in honor of the holiday. Throughout the day they would attend a parade in the park, get to meet the mayor of Sioux Falls, be interviewed to be on TV, put American flags in their hair, get their faces painted, eat amazing amounts of food, and of course watch fire works. It was pointed out earlier in the day that most of the fireworks we had seen all said "Made in China". Charles came to me later on in the day and told me how ironic he thought it was so strange that as we celebrated our Independence we celebrated it by setting off fireworks made in China. Interesting hugh?

I again feel so blessed by Youth Encounter to be able to have friends from so far away and that we can see each other every so often. It was a tearful good bye this morning as i said "we'll see you soon".

God is Good!

New Dawn Reunion

2011-07-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

It has finally come and fortunately gone...the reunion of my youth encounter team. This past Saturday my teammate Julia was married at Luther Seminary. How exciting it was to be there and cheer her on in her next adventure in life. All of my New Dawn team was there which was such a reunion. Sarah and her husband came on Friday night and stayed with me. We awoke Saturday morning, enjoyed chatting on my balcony, went and played some Frisbee golf, went for lunch and then to the wedding. At the wedding I saw the others Julia (of course), Jackie, and Jon.

Our connection was quickly formed again and at times it felt like no time had spanned since we had all seen one another. Blessed to have time together and blessed to be able to support Julia. Youth Encounter is a very special place. There was a point in the evening where they took an alumni photo. 15 - 20 people gathered for the photo with goofy smiles and lots of laughs which speaks of the unity of Youth Encounter whether we know one another personally or not.

Jackie joined us on Saturday night and we had a big slumber party. Jackie and I spent time on Sunday at Minnehaha falls which is so pretty this time of the year. Jackie had never been there before. Hard not to think of my mom when I think of Minnehaha Falls for she loved that place. I remember several Sunday afternoons from being a kid when mom would take Tracy and I to the falls. We would spend hours wading through the water, climbing up on rocks and eventually get to the river.

What a great time together...can't wait for the next one!

Race for the Cure

2011-05-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

My sister Tracy called me up last Saturday night and said "hey want to do that Race for the Cure tomorrow for Mother's Day?" I thought about it for like one second and said "yeah...for sure" Tracy ran cross-country in high school and has done many races but for me this was the first one. As you may remember my mom had breast cancer in 2007, we definitely did this in her honor.

We arrived around 7:30 to register, get our t-shirt, etc. We took turns running and walking. It was really fun seeing all the different people and survivors of breast cancer, etc. We were also in one of our old neighborhoods in East Bloomington so we reminisced as we passed our old bank and old apartment building that we once lived at. Tracy told different stories of mom picking her up from races or one I particularly liked where she talked about mom waiting for her at the finish line and smoking a cigarette while she was waiting. Tracy said mom bonded with a lady at a race once because as soon as the lady crossed the finish line she lit up a cigarette. The lady told mom "I may not win the race for being the fastest but know I am always the first one to light up".

Doing the race was a nice way to start Mother's Day which is the easiest of days now a days. I am very blessed to have several motherly figures in my life. Of course none replace the real thing who I miss dearly.

Lots of love and blessings to the Amazing Mother's in this world!

Happy Easter & Spring!

2011-04-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

So today is Easter...Yeah and Hallelujah! It was so nice to get up this morning and hear the birds chirping and to have the sun shining. It just begins the day off so much better (and the Twins won yesterday). I've heard a lot on the radio through this Lenten season about Jesus and His path to the cross. Occasionally I catch Focus on the Family (a Christian radio show) and they have talked in depth lately of the truth and controversies surrounding Jesus and His death on the cross. On a few occasions they presented the arguments that people present to prove that Jesus didn't really rise from the dead...very interesting. The arguments are that the disciples stole Jesus' body and buried it somewhere else. The other one is that people lied about seeing Jesus. I think it can be exhausting to go around and try and prove that Jesus doesn't exist when so many signs point to the fact that He did and further more isn't that what Faith is all about? Believing in something we can't see but just trusting? Sorry about rambling, just some thoughts to ponder...

The last few weeks have been filled with lots of activities which have been fun. I continue to transition back into my role here at church. In about a month is Confirmation which is one of my fullest times. Last weekend we had the 9th grade retreat which was a lot of fun. My favorite thing about ministry is time with the youth and time building relationships whether it's through speaking, playing games, or times at the coffee shop. I've been able to enjoy more of those times in the last week or so which is so nice.

Yesterday was my niece Julianna's one year birthday party. She is such a joy and a blessing to all of us as well as all of my niece and nephews. So fun watching Julianna dive into her first birthday cake which was an Elmo cake. Christian did so well watching and helping her open her presents. She got a lot of babies and clothes and had a lot of friends and loved ones come and help her celebrate. My brother Tom is amazing and had us all over for dinner afterward. He sure knows how to throw a party and to make everyone feel loved, accepted and well fed.

Easter Blessings and joy of the risen Jesus to you this day. May you rejoice in His grace, love and never-ending forgiveness.

Psalm 46

2011-03-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

In light of all the crap in the news lately i thought this would be a good time to bring some hope from scripture...

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,though its waters roar and foamand the mountains quake with their surging
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see what the LORD has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;he burns the shields[d] with fire.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Thanks be to GOD!!! Amen

The Final First...

2011-03-08T20:09:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday, March 3 was the final "first time" in dealing with my mom's death. We celebrated and may I emphasize celebrated the loss of my mom on the one year anniversary of her death. As days led up to the "big day" my heart was I think preparing for it. There would be brief moments of sadness and anxiety prior to it. A friend of mine from church approached me the day before and said "kristine i'll be praying for you tomorrow" she continued to say "it's been 17 years since I lost my mom and still 17 years later on the anniversary day it still hits me"... she said "you won't know when it's going to hit but you need to give yourself grace to deal with it and time".

Nothing during this grief process has felt the least bit normal. I've cried very few times and at times I feel like I am just starting to grief (which may be true). Another good friend told me that on the day of and days after it may be tough but to again give yourself grace and take time to deal with the feelings. I hate dealing with my feelings!

The day finally came last Thursday and I will say it was probably one of the roughest days I've had in the past year. As I went to bed Wednesday night I had difficulties sleeping and laid awake most of the night. I got to work about 9:30 and as soon as I got there I kept looking at the clock. I think I remembered correctly that it was around 11:00 that I received the phone call that my mom had died. As 11:00 drew near i began to feel more and more tears arise. One of my co-workers crossed my office right around that time and we cried together.

The remainder of my next few hours at work that day seem like a blur. By 3:00 I was at a friends house to sit and eventually take a nap. I had also been struggling with a cold that day which doesn't help the situation either. The greatest part of the day was getting together with all my siblings and my aunt Alice for dinner. So nice to be together. I enjoyed taking my Aunt home. We reminisced on my mom, told stories of her. It was neat for me to grieve with her. She told me how much she loved my mom, cared for her and how sorry she was that us kids were having to deal with this at such a young age.

As I look back on that day I see how good the Lord is. How good God is to provide me with amazing people in my life who allow me to nap at their house, bring me flowers and a sweet card, someone to talk in the car ride, and amazing siblings to share our experience together with. God is so good!

a great weekend!

2011-02-28T08:05:00.000-08:00

This weekend my youth group participated in the national 30 Hour Famine through World Vision. Leading up to the event I got a little anxious thinking about the fact that I wasn't going to be able to eat for 30 hours. I counted up and this is my 9th or 10th time participating in the Famine so why should I be nervous? On top of the 30 Hour Famine it was also going to be Youth Sunday and I was preaching. I am really good at scheduling a lot for a weekend.

The 30 Hour Famine was great. Before it began I was with my friend Barb and sharing my anxities about the weekend. She sat with me and prayed very sternly for the Famine and that I would blown away at how much God was going to do. Blown away I was. I am always amazed at the kids who do the famine. I mean there is something to be said about the fact that it is usually one of my most attended events. I say that because kids are excited to sign up to not eat for 30 hours. It shows their hearts of service and devotion to help people in need.

The youth were amazing by helping to lead events, set-up stuff and be available when needed. Some, also got up at 5:00 am to serve breakfast a local shelter, also getting up at 6:00 to prepare and serve breakfast at another place, they served at the Hospitality House in Minneapolis. They had good attitudes about the weekend. Parents came and served an amazing meal. Thanks be to God!

Yesterday we celebrated the weekend in church with a Youth Sunday. I got the opportunity to give the message which I always enjoy. People are so supportive of me and that is very humbling and touching.

The best part of the weekend though is that kids raised over $5300 to help those who are hungry and that will save some peoples lives. So, again thanks be to God!

2011-02-09T15:32:00.000-08:00

Last Friday I visited a church in Minneapolis that has a young adult Friday night service. Once I finally made it there (of course I got lost)it was really good...though way out of my comfort zone. Out of my comfort zone because I went alone not knowing anyone there but as I tell my youth at church it is so worth it when you do it. It began with worship which I enjoyed then a time of preaching.

The pastor came on stage and looked like a 50 year version of Billy Idol. He had skin-tight jeans, spiked up hair and to top it off a leather jacket on with the collar up. His message was focused mainly on the importance of reading the Bible. She told of a survey of 40,000 Christian who were surveyed on whether or not they read the Bible more than 3 times a week, the results showed that 70% of Christians don't read the Bible more than 3 times a week. He spoke of the importance in our lives to be indeed grounded in the word of God and to let that be your guide. Very interesting points and very convicting for me and hopefully for you too. He spoke about temptation and most often we are tempted when not filling ourselves with God's word. It's a lesson I am sure we have all heard a hundred times. Since then I have been trying to make more of an effort to be in the Word and I can see changes in my life. It's exercise, spiritual exercise which is really important.

I'll close by his reference to our schedules. He said "don't even try to tell me you don't have time to read the Bible" which I believe is our number one excuse as to why we don't read it. He said we all have time to check our Facebooks, be on our phones, watch TV, etc. so we have more than enough time to spend 15-20 minutes a day with the Lord in reading the word and in prayer.

It makes such a difference when our minds are focused away from the world and focused inwardly on God's word and God's direction.

"Remain in Me"

2011-01-22T11:44:00.000-08:00

I love those Saturday's where you can have some time to breath. For me today was one of those Saturday's (or at least has been so far it's not even 2:00 yet). I had breakfast with a friend this morning, then headed to work out, then when I got home threw in some laundry. AFter that I got out my Bible and sat on my couch to spend some time in the Word. I don't do this as regularly as I should and I find that lately my time with Jesus has been so calming. My apartment is empty (which is also rare) there is no TV on, no ipod blaring music just me and the random sounds that are coming from the heat ventilator. I've been reading through John and today I started with John 15 which is the passage of the Vine and the branches.

John 15
The Vine and the Branches
1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

Such powerful words in scripture and incredible reminders of following Christ. The simple instruction of remaining in Jesus and His promise that He will also remain in us. I really needed to hear that today. As a challenge for myself this next week when I am feeling bogged down with worries about whatever to remember that I need to be trusting God first and remaining in Him and I will discover Him.

Hopefully a good reminder and challenge for you too.

2011-01-18T10:10:00.000-08:00

A friend came over last night and we decided to watch a movie that I had rented. I didn't know a lot about the movie but it was PG-13 and looked really funny. Within 2 minutes of the start of the movie one of the characters referred to "getting laid" and after 20 minutes of which we shut the movie off there were countless references to male and female body parts, sex, strippers and the over-all basis for the movie was inviting people to dinner to make fun of them so that they could be promoted in their jobs.

What has society come to that has become acceptable for a movie? This is the 3rd movie in the last year that I have only made it 20 minutes through because of inappropriate context. It makes me never want to watch movies again and furthermore to get my money back for rental fees.

Reminds me of how scripture talks about surrounding yourself with positive thoughts and images of Christ and His glory and how Paul says in Romans "do not conform to the patterns of this world". Maybe people can begin banning together to stop these movies from being shown. I know it's a far cry but just my thoughts for the day.

2011-01-14T13:48:00.001-08:00

I was blessed last night to get together with a friend I hadn't in quite a while. She is a friend of mine from church and she also lost her mom this year. We sat and talked for nearly 3 1/2 hours over pizza and cheese bread. We both shared our stories of the last months of our mothers and in that shared tears and pauses from the tears through our discussion. I found it good and healing to talk with someone who was going through some of the same emotions I have been/am. Her mother was 93 and passed away in May. She gave me a book of messages called "Remembering with Love". It is filled with 300 pages of messages to help with coping with grief. Two of the stories that I read last night really stood out and I want to share them with you.

Wanting an Ordinary Day
It begins with a quote which reads "I just want an ordinary day, one where all I think about are routine and normal things in life."
There are times when we crave a normal life, one where the little things are the important things; noticing the birds, the clouds, making dinner, watching a television show, calling a friend or relative just to chat. We need days like this, days where we do not have to think or feel, and we can just be.

I've been missing routine in my life since switching jobs and I think this story kind of speaks to that.

Another one I liked is called Giving and Receiving Love
"I'd awaken at night - sometimes to labored breathing, sometimes to barely a breath at all. A gentle hand on his seemed to help in either case. I would wash his body and feed him with food and the Spirit. Then he died. Now I am filled with this overabundant intimate love that only he could receive the way it is meant to be given...but he's gone, and I have no one to take my love."

With the death of our loved one, many of us may feel that our ability to given and receive love has been torn from us forever. The closeness and intimacy we once shared tenderly and freely may have no real outlet now, and our heart aches. We feel robbed and cheated. It is naturally for us to miss our loved one and long to love again.

Good stuff and encouraging words!

Love, Kristine

Amazing How The Lord Works!!!!

2011-01-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

You have heard me write a few times about the family of 11 kids I met when we went there for our mission trip this past summer. In November I was moved to be able to visit with the family and hear from the mother explain the many health problems she had been experiencing in her 12th pregnancy. Brenda gave me her contact information and unfortunately I lost the sheet of paper with the contact information on it.

I've been thinking about her and the family and wondering how things have been going for them. Yesterday morning, I was surprised and moved deeply to awaken to two texts from Brenda (the mother)telling me that their new baby was born on December 7th but asking for prayer because the baby was going to need surgery on her heart and Brenda had been experiencing some health complications also and again asking for prayer. I wrote her back and was so happy to hear from her. She appreciates the prayers and told me that her door was always open for me if I was ever around the area.

So great to hear from her. Amazing how God works. I ask that you pray for her also and her family. I'll keep updates when I receive them.

Also... our family Christmas was really good. Strange of course without my mom being there physically. Just plain weird.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

Reflecting on the Christmas season as Christmas is just 3 days away. Of course myself and my family are thinking a lot of our mom who won't be here in person to spend Christmas with us. It's a strange feeling. I continue to enjoy going on Tuesday nights to "house church". I have come to get to know a great group of people and really enjoy spending time with them. It's a part of my weekly routine (most weeks) and that is fun.

Last night after eating together we spent time answering the questions what is something that has been really great this year and secondly what's been something that has been harder. It's not hard for me to answer those questions. I have felt so blessed this year with the way God has provided blessings of great people in my life with the passing of my mom. It's so amazing how the Lord provides. It's been great to be reconnected with friends I went to college with and have strong friendships with them and the greatest addition is my niece Julianna. It is so neat to watch the innocence of a child. I think after watching my mom be sick for so many years and deteriorate at the end of life it is a new blessing to watch a young being so innocent, happy, playful, etc. There is a couple who comes to house church who have a 2 year old daughter and I Feel the same way about her. Each week she brings new energy and playfulness and it kind of puts life into perspective.

Yesterday in our staff meeting Pastor Heather shared about the significance and importance of the season and how it just doesn't mean anything unless you remember Christ...that Christ was born...Christ was a light to the world...and Christ coming into our lives.

Hoping and praying for you this holiday season that you are able to celebrate and receive the ultimate gift of Christ this season and always!!!

Kristine

A great Day!

2010-11-14T17:50:00.000-08:00

One of the many things that I have learned about myself in the past two years is that I have become (or maybe always was) a processor. This means that when things originally happen or when I am in the moment I don't usually react or show emotions or even notice the greatness or hardness of the situation until I have had time to have it sink in a bit and to think. I noticed this when I was on my Youth Encounter Team because a lot of times when we would have a big decision to make or a big conversation to have I was always ready to have a follow up one a few days later so that I could share how I felt about the situation.

So...today was my installation at All Saints where I have recently just began serving again as Director of Youth and Family Ministries. As I have had some time now throughout the day to think about I'm filled with so much joy about it and appreciation for so many. Although the whole morning was great and everyone has been so nice to me and loving since I've been back two parts stick out most vividly. My brother Tom and two sisters came to the middle service. They came forward with me and laid hands on me during it and for a brief second I could feel the sense that my mom was maybe there with us. There was just something about us standing up there together all family members and knowing what we've been through this past year and are still going through and to just feel well... amazing and loved because there we were showing support to each other. I almost feel like I can't even describe it, but it was so good. God blesses me in so many ways and sometimes I wonder why and I don't get it which leads me into my next part of the morning which happened during the last service I had asked some of my close friends to come forward with me from the church and by close friends I mean I think I asked 5 people. When the time came to come forward there were so many people I couldn't make my head all the way around to see then a I saw a few youths faces and well just so special.

I am continually amazed at how good God is and how He provides in all situations even the tough ones!!!

"I thank my God everytime I remember you"

2010-11-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

This is a familiar verse that my teammate Sarah would use all the time when she was leaving a card for someone or even in reference to someone. I use it a lot as well as I think of the amazing people that the Lord blesses me with in my life.

You may remember me sharing about our mission trip from this past summer where we went to Kansas City and met a family with 11 kids and 1 on the way. This past weekend after saying good bye to Christ the Servant I headed down to Kansas City to see my teammate Jackie and was blessed to see some other friends from college. Before leaving I sent out an e-mail to the group that went on the mission trip to see if anyone would like to donate anything for the family. My trunk was filled with books and toys and clothes for the family. On Monday afternoon I arrived at the house. It was really funny at first because she said "I don't recognize you without your pony tail". The family was so appreciative of the generosity shown by the church and with eagerness brought each bag inside. I stood outside and chatted with the mother who talked very deeply about several health problems she has been experiencing mostly in relevance to her now 12th pregnancy. She has 7 weeks left of her pregnancy and prayers are needed for sure. She has been having heart problems as well as some neurological problems and has very low iron and blood. While we were chatting it was fun to see the kids come out of the house and to be able to see them again and to especially see the excitement in their faces as they showed off their new toys.

The mother shared her deepest gratitude to the church and kept saying how excited she was to see the "missionaries from Minnesota again". Their faces kept in my mind for the remainder of the day. So neat how the Lord works!!!!

Fun Weekend!

2010-10-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

Back in June some of my friends from college thought it would be fun to plan a retreat to get away just girls. We sent the invites out way back then and this weekend was finally the retreat! Six of us who all went to college together headed up to Ox Lake in Wisconsin on Saturday morning. It was a rainy morning. My friend CHeryl and I rode together and the other girls rode in another vehicle. We had a lot of fun jamming out to music in the car and being goofy.

We got to camp and spent the afternoon doing the high ropes course. We were so blessed that the rain let up in the afternoon so that we didn't have any rain during climbing. It was fun to facilitate and to climb with my friends.

Afterwards we made a big bonfire and cooked dinner over it and sat around it for several hours talking, making s'mores, laughing and so on. We all snuggled into a tiny cabin with a fire burning to keep us warm as we headed to sleep. It was like being at a sleepover as a kid staying awake for an hour or so talking and reminiscing on college experiences and crushes, etc.

In the morning my friend Cheryl and I awoke before others and drove over to camp wapo and had coffee and got warm. When we got back to Ox the others were up and making breakfast and we departed for home.

Great weekend and fun to be with friends! The Lord is so good!

Kristine

Transitioning

2010-10-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

I feel like lately I never stay in the same place for very long. I received a call in August that the Youth Director at my previous church had resigned and asked me to apply. For the past few months I have been interviewing and spending a lot of time in prayer about where the Lord would be and is leading me. It has been an up and down emotional ride and continues to be as I did accept the call to return to All Saints as Director of Youth and Family ministries.

Transition and change are not things I do very well or even welcome. I have sensed the Lord's leading in this and feel like He led me to the decision of accepting the position. I resigned from my current church and the lighting company two weeks ago. It's been a definate shock and caused some emotions for my current congregation. I will miss them very much and have just enjoyed being there a lot.

Last night I did something different with the kids since it was my last night of Confirmation with them. I find that as I go through the emotions myself of leaving so much of it is inside of me and will come out eventually. I hate that I feel like my emotions always come later than normal (whatever normal is).

I will be finishing my time at Christ the Servant on October 31st and starting at All Saints on NOvember 3rd.

Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Good promises from scripture for today!

Pumpkins

2010-10-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

So the church I am currently at has a yearly pumpkin patch which is a church fundraiser. I have heard a lot about the pumpkin patch and heard people say "the pumpkins are coming" but never fully understood the mayhem of it all until last night. 2900 pumpkins were delivered to us from New Mexico for the pumpkin patch. The pumpkins came in a gigantic semi-truck filled to the brim. Dozens of members from my church came with wheelbarrows and gloves to help with the unloading of them.

Like I said earlier, I have never seen anything like this. It was amazing! In less than 2 1/2 hours all 2900 pumpkins were unloaded and assembled in a nice order for people to come and buy them now.

Romans 12 says "we who are many form one body...". So neat to see the body of Christ in action!

2010-09-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

I just spent a while preparing for tonights' confirmation lesson. We began last week studying the ten commandments, what a powerful piece of scripture! Last week we talked about God's and Idols and tonight we are talking of the importance of NOT using the Lord's name in vain. I feel both of these commandments co-inside with one another in how as humans we can take God for granted in some way. As I prepared for tonight I chose to focus on God's name and well names in general and how much power is in a name. Did you know if you google "names of Jesus" there are over 100 scriptural references to how Jesus was referred to? Some of the references I listed below:
Ruler of God’s Creation (Rev. 3:14)
Ruler of the Kings of the Earth (Rev. 1:5)
Savior (Eph. 5:23; Titus 1:4; 3:6; 2 Pet. 2:20)
Son of David (Lk. 18:39)
Son of God (John 1:49; Heb. 4:14)
Son of Man (Mt. 8:20)
Son of the Most High God (Lk. 1:32)
Source of Eternal Salvation for all who obey him (Heb. 5:9)
The One Mediator (1 Tim. 2:5)
The Stone the builders rejected (Acts 4:11)
The Teacher (John 11:28, NIV)
True Bread (John 6:32)
True Light (John 1:9)
True Vine (John 15:1)

In Genesis scripture says that we are all "Created in the image of Christ". How amazing to think that God created us thinking of the above things.

I am sorry for this come off as a sermon today just thoughts from my weird head. Hope this inspires you today to know special and valued you are in the eyes of Christ.

Rally Weekend

2010-09-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

This past week is a pretty big weekend in the church for it's typically called Rally Sunday. It's when fall programs get kicked off and we begin a new season of ministry. This season was a little different for me because I've never been a children's director. I had some anxiety as we all got ready for Sunday School to kick off. We launched a new Sunday School curriculum and then had a picnic afterwards with a moonwalk for kids and food and stuff. The Lord blessed us with such a wonderful day. The sun was shining, attitudes were good, kids were playing, laughing, singing and of course jumping in the moon walk. I enjoyed being able to play frisbee for a while with some of the kids. Such a great day and a good day for our church.

Afterwards I joined my sister Tracy. Some friends of hers have a house on lake and invited us to come out water skiing. We had so much fun and were so thankful for these people who treated us so nicely. After many attempts neither one of us got up but it was really fun and well...hopefully next time we'll be able to get up. After much activity I am one sore girl. Even squeezing the coffee out of the container this morning was painful for me.

Tomorrow we'll kick off Confirmation and just push forward into this new season of ministry !

Blessings! Kristine

Importance of being filled

2010-09-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

I think when I first began working in youth ministry I desired and craved to be "filled" and "poured into" by something outside of the ministry that I was partaking in but never took much effort to do that because I found my schedule to fill with other things to take the time for myself.

In the last few months the Lord has blessed me with some really good opportunities to not only pour into other people but to myself be poured into by the Spirit of God through church services and through the people the Lord chooses to place in my path. I began to reflect yesterday on just how important those things have been to me and how they have helped to influence not only my faith but my life.

The first is a weekly gathering with a couple of good friends from college. We meet on Monday evenings and have been for the past almost 6 months. We don't have a formula schedule that we follow usually time to fellowship, check-in, maybe watch a t.v. show (we really got into the Bachelorette), sometimes we pray together, sometimes we set goals for the week and we usually always eat dinner together. What's been even greater is the friendship and community the Lord has blessed us with together. We usually check in with each other throughout the week and it's been a good prayer support system for all of us.

The second really great thing I have enjoyed is going to a "house church" on Tuesday nights. I think I have talked about the house church. We've been going through 1 John which is at the end of the Bible and been talking about a lot of different subjects from love to sacrifice to really knowing God. This weekend I got to go the Sunday morning service that the house church branches out of which was a great experience. The sermon was out of 1 Corinthians. A group of us went out for chinese lunch afterwards.

Lastly I have been blessed to goto the Sunday night service at Colonial (my home church) called "The Bridge". They've been studying Matthew.

It has really helped me to have these areas and groups of support in my life and I think it empowers me to do better ministry.

2010-08-26T10:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was in the area of St. Louis Park meeting with a friend for coffee. Afterwards I decided to stop over at the Cancer Center where my mom received her cancer treatments to see if I could say hello to my mom's nurses. I haven't been in touch with them at all since November. They did however hear of my mom's loss a few months after she passed.

Walking into the Center I was flooded with memories. For about seven months almost every week mom and I went there and just about every week we saw either Cindy or Nancy (mom's nurses) or both. I recognized how busy those ladies always are so wasn't expecting to be able to talk with them at all. I asked the receptionist if I would be able to see Cindy (she is the doctors nurse) the receptionist said she would need to call back and see and it would be unlikely. The receptionist called back and spoke with Cindy and Cindy said "i'll be right up" I couldn't believe it. I was able to talk with her for a few minutes and it was great and I felt so blessed. I asked her if Nancy was around. (Nancy was the nurse that administered most of my mom's chemo treatments. There were weeks we spent almost 6 hours with Nancy. We got to know her very well and her to know us and most of all my mom just loved Nancy. Nancy was able to communicate with my mom so well. In fact last fall when I brought my mom in for her follow-up cancer check up my mom was in a very violent mood, yelling and being well...not so nice. When Nancy came in mom was calm and talked with Nancy like they were old friends.)

Cindy said "Nancy is usually so busy but we'll see". Cindy open the door where Nancy's desk was and as soon as Nancy saw me she opened her mouth real wide, smiled and came out right away. We talked for about 10 minutes both with tears in our eyes.

I felt so blessed when I left and had so many good memories return of my mom and what a great person she was and has left on so many lifes.

Youth Encounter a Wonderful Blessing!

2010-08-16T10:37:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday was the annual Homecoming Celebration for Youth Encounter. Hard for me to believe that it was only a year ago that I was concluding my year on team. I was able to spend most of the day at Homecoming and heard the 9 teams that were on the road perform. Such a great reminder of how amazing Youth Encounter is and how awesome the community of youth encounter is.

It was fun to reconnect with people, praise God through the music and to hear the testimonies of some of the amazing things that the Lord has done in and through the teams this past year.

Yesterday was our Youth/Children's Sunday at my church. It was a busy morning and weekend as I spent a lot of time trying to plan the service and make things good. I had the opportunity to speak and help lead worship which was fun. We also had the opportunity to hear from kids that went on the mission trip and were a part of VBS this past week. As afternoon hit I found myself to be quite tired. I worked over 70 hours last week between my two jobs and I am excited for a less-exhausting week this week so that I can regroup and prepare for the fall.

Kristine

2010-08-09T10:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an exciting day. My new niece Julianna was baptized at Colonial Church. It was really neat. All my sibblings were together and Grandparents (well missing one who was looking down), and other niece and nephews. The pastor said at the beginning of the service "baptism, this is a big deal". Julianna did so well through it, barely cried and lots of smiles.

Last night also began our first night of Vacation Bible School at my new church. This was a new experience for me, directing a VBS. My involvement is very little and I am so blessed to have a great staff of volunteers who have worked incredibly hard. I am helping out with the music, playing guitar and singing which is also new for me. Hopefully by the end of the week we'll have it all together. It's fun to see so many little kids comign through the building and with lots of excitment. Lots of wonderful reminders of great blessings!

Time for an Update

2010-08-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, so yes I am still alive and I apologize for not writing for so long. As many of you know last week was my churches mission trip to Kansas City. 17 of us headed out on Saturday, July 24th to Kansas City, well actually we stayed in Colony, KS the first night which is home of one of my good friends parents. We were happy to finally arrive there (after 10 hours of driving) to warm greetings and good food. I find it so neat how the Lord blesses me in so many ways, I am so thankful for the Bubnas (name of family) and the incredible hospitality and love that they always show. We played games, did some Jesus stuff and headed to bed!!!!

On Sunday we attended worship in Colony then made our way to Kansas City. We stopped on the way to visit the International House of Prayer (yes IHOP). My good friend Katie from college is on staff there. She briefed us on what the House of Prayer is about and we all spent some time in the prayer room which was sure a stretch for the kids and me too.

Sunday evening we arrived at our Youth Works site in Kansas City where we would be for the week. We were paired up with two other churches, one from California and one from Texas. The Lord blessed us with a lot throughout the week. My kids worked hard and stretched out of their comfort zone and even did so without complaining (for most of the trip).

A memory that sticks out to most of us was a family we met at our kids club. This is a family of 11 kids with one on the way. My eyes were drawn to them for many reasons and they for sure stood out in all of our hearts. On Friday before heading to the amusement park we decided to take our tithing money and donate part of it to purchasing food and other household items for the family. When we got to the house the children in the house were so happy to see us that they came running down the stairs. The looks on their faces as we passed bag after bag into the house was incredible and something I hope to never forget. The mother greeted us with hugs and tears because she was so thankful for our generiousity and for the fact that we had been there working with her family all week. It was a really great moment! The mother has been having some heart problems and can for sure use our prayers. If you think of it please keep her in your prayers and their family as well.

I've now been home for a few days and am still recouperating. The Lord blessed us in many ways and has challenged me too which is good but been tough to process so prayers for that as well would be great!

2010-07-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

For a while now Friday's have been my day off. They have come to be a day that I really look forward to. I have recently been attending a house church on Tuesday evenings which I really enjoy a lot. Two friends of mine from college who are married run the house church and lead it and they do a phenominal job. We've been studying 1 John. This week he focused on the first 5 verses of the 1st chapter of 1 John. Kyle talked a lot about knowing God and how that can impact or not impact our life. It really challenged me with the areas in my life that I have been struggling with and really taught me that I just need more of Jesus in my life. I need some intentional time with Him and need to be more deliberate.

So, I decided that on Friday (yesterday) I would set sometime aside and possibly even go somewhere. I decided I would head down to Minnehaha Falls. Minnehaha is a place I have been do dozens of times with my mom in fact the last time I was there was with her last Labor Day.

On my way there I began to get frustrated because I couldn't find the place. It took me almost an hour to get there. Once I finally got there I was on a mission to hike down to the river. I had a nice hike down even walked through the creek once and got stuck in the middle and was quite dirty. FInally made it down to the river. It didn't actually take very long but it was kind of funny because my mom used to take my sister and I down there and it would take hours to get down to the river and it took me like 30 minutes.

I found a spot on a bridge, sat and whipped out a book my friend Anna gave me to read on my time. It's called "come away beloved" . It's a book of short devotionals. I read a few of them focusing on surrender, seeking God, etc. They were good. One was from Song of Solomon which was really good. I spent some time praying and reading from another book I brought with me. It was nice to sit. I sat down there for an hour maybe and then made my hike back to the top.

I walked away feeling like I have barely scratched the surface with God but it was a good start. On my way back up I decided to have a prayer walk and pray for each of my youth going on our mission trip next week. I feel like that was good and that God spoke to me some good ideas as to some things to do as I prepare. When I got to the top I saw they rent out cool bikes so I rented one for an hour which was really fun and something different. I probably shouldn't have spent the money (it was like $12.00) but realized it's okay to do that sometimes and it was fun.

I went home and felt quite exhausted, it was kind of a long day that's for sure. I feel hungry though for God in a way I haven't felt in a while. I was excited to read more when I got ready for bed. I find that I can get quite distracted by my electronics (ipod and cell phone and even the computer) which interrupts my time with God and even being able to hear from Him.

I hope to make this a tradition and to do this more and at least once more before we head on our mission trip next week.

Another First!

2010-07-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

For the past I don't know how many years the fourth of July has probably been my mom's favorite holiday. As I prepared for the day coming up I was reminded often of mom when I would see flags or even a firework here and there. As I awoke yesterday I thought to myself I need to get over all of this and just enjoy life (not that I am not). I went to church with that mind-set and did pretty well for a while. A couple of older ladies sang "God Bless America" and there was a picture behind them on the power point of an American flag waving over grave-stones and roses next to it. That was fine, I got through that part and went and led "Children's Church" which is our summer Sunday School progam which has been going very well.

On Sunday's I typically go to parts of the first service then to the sermon portion of the second service then I eventually get it all in. I could tell mom was heavily on my mind throughout the day. Our pastor had some people share faith stories during his sermon about how they were Christ's hands and feet in this world. A lady who I know pretty well shared about how she is a prayer warrior for the people she works with, she spoke very beautifully and tears began coming quite quickly. After she was done another lady got up and spoke about being retired and how she feels like God has called her to help planned loved ones funerals so that she can be supportive to them. The tears began to come a little more constant now as I thought of how not to long ago we prepared a funeral for a loved one. After the sermon Iwent out to blow my nose and the first lady who spoke was out there with her husband and we chatted for a while. As they were prepared to leave and I turned to go back into church I felt the tears coming more and eventually lost it. I can't tell you how much I hate the how unpredictable grief is. The lady stayed and hugged me for a few seconds maybe minutes and she muttered "this must be so hard". The tears lasted for a little longer.

I am so thankful and amazed at how God works. When I went back to my office there was a message from one of my friends who had bought us Twin's tickets. I have been wanting to go to a Twins Game. We went and had so much fun and the rest of the day didn't seem so bad.

A Great Surprise!

2010-06-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

God is good, don't you think? I received a Facebook message this past Sunday morning from my good friend Charles who is lives and is from Hong Kong. You may remember me speaking of Charles last year. We worked with Charles, Ivan and a slew of students for 10 days while in Hong Kong the end of January - February of 2009. Charles messaged me to let me know that they had an unexpected layover in Minnesota while they were on their way to take 18 students for an exchange program in South Dakota. He said he would try and call me so that we could connect. Finally in the later afternoon I received his phone call and shortly there after met Charles, Ivan and the students at the Mall of America. I cannot remember that last time I was so excited to see someone (perhaps last year coming home?). We grabbed a Starbucks, chatted, did some shopping and then I rode back to the airport with them and bid farewell. I wish I could've frozen time for that day so that our time would've been longer but I am thankful for the time I got.

They are now in S. Dakota until July 7 doing an exchange program this is the second annual trip. Part of the journey is that they will be here for the fourth of July and be able to experience that tradition. Please be keeping them in your prayers as they travel.

The Lord is my Shepherd

2010-06-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine from my new church gave me a book to read. It's a Max Lucado book entitled "Traveling Light" and the subtitle is Learning to Release the Burdens you were never intended to carry for whatever reason (actually I think I know the reasons) my mind has felt very fully lately in fact on Monday night I felt like someone was stepping on my head because I felt almost sufficated. I began reading this book. The books emphasis is on Psalm 23, which if you have any biblical knowledge this passage of scripture is probably very familiar to you. The book breaks down the different verses of this scipture in a detailed way.

The Psalm begins with "The Lord is My Shepherd". Do you ever stop to think about the Lord being your shepherd? He goes in depth taking about what a shepherd is and how a shepherd takes care of his flock of sheep (in most cases). He goes in depth about what a ridiculous animal the sheep is. He says they're dirty and just weird animals but yet God uses the sheep to illustrate the importance of a shepherd and how He wants to be our sheperd.

The next part of the passage deals with something I have dealt with quite a bit in the last almost year and that is discontentment. The verse reads "I shall not want". He begins the chapter talking about being in the prison of want. How we all want different things and perhaps you may build your identity on what you want or what you have. You may say I will be content if I just have____________________ or I will be content if I__________________________. I am sure we can all fill in the blanks with tons of different answers as to the things that if we just had we would be content. Jesus says that in Him we already have everything we need. Fascinating thought isn't it?

I won't bore you anymore today but continue to update on what I am learning from this so that you too can possibly take something out of this.

2010-06-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I traveled with my old teammate Jackie and a current teamer Christa to Indianapolis, IN for my teammate Sarah's Wedding. We left pretty early Friday morning to make our nearly 12 hour trek to INdianapolis. The drive went very well we switched off driving amongst us and had a very long traffic jam in Chicago (dang Stanley Cup). We arrived in Indianapolis at Sarah's house a little after 9:00 and were all reunited (minus Jon whom we would see the next day). It was fun to catch up on old times, our travels, exchange photos and even do some reminiscing by watching old videos we had recorded while on team (mainly in Asia).

The next day was the wedding which was in Sarah's church that she grew up in and even went to school at. The wedding was very beautiful and full of love. The best part for me was the message by the Pastor. He spoke about looking to the cross and in all things havinig the cross be at the center, in both good times and in bad times. Not only fitting for a wedding but for all of us at all times.

We enjoyed spending time together at the reception which included lots of yummy food and treats, dancing and heat (boy it was hot!). By 5:30pm we were back on the road again to make our trek home. We stopped in Menommee falls to stay with my friend Renee's parents which was a blessing in itself. I felt like I was on team again staying in a host home. She greeted us with hugs, food and lots of love. Our visit there wasn't long enough because by 9:00am the next morning we were back on the road again heading to drop Jackie off at Camp Wapo.

In all 1400 miles were traveled, old friends reunited, new friends made, food was eaten, coffee drank, and lots of laughter.

Thanks be to God!

Pressing On

2010-06-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

Philippians 3:12 - 14:
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made pefect, but I press on to take hol dof that for which CHrist Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

This morning as I began to get ready for the day I felt compelled to read this verse and to be reminded of pressing on towards the goal of Jesus Christ. Some mornings when I wake up I flood my mind with the the worries of yesterdays. Perhaps a bad day I had, something bad that happened, a person who upset me or caring for my sick mother. I don't think Paul is saying in this passage to forget your memories but to forget your worries and strive to a new day and to what is ahead. Lately I have felt God calling me to "take life by the horns" which I translate to mean take life on fully and as it comes. There is nothing I can do to change the "yesterday's" but I can strive with the help of Christ to live fully in the present and in the future to allow God's hand in my life.

Do you ever stop to think of your blessings and to take time to be joyful? A few weeks ago I preached at my church about faith. One of the points in my sermon was to give thanks. I challenged people to start a gratitude journal. WHich means at the end of the day writing down 5 or more things that you are thankful for from the day. A couple of my friends and I have started doing this. It's amazing how even doing this for a couple of days (I think yesterday was day #5) changes your day and outlook on life. Last night when I got home I couldn't wait to write my gratitudes for the day. I challenge you to pick up a notebook today and to start tallying the blessings and joys of your days.

I am sorry for getting preachy today, it's just what was on my mind.

In Christ, Kristine

2010-05-24T07:17:00.000-07:00

I had another opportunity at my new church to preach yesterday. My scripture was the last part of John 20 and the story of Doubting Thomas. I ended up with a theme on faith and tied in at the end ways in which to deepen your faith and/or take it to the next level. I came up with five points that would help to make this happen (seek, believe, surrender, acknowledge, give thanks). I sure enjoy preaching. I had a hard time with this one, getting it written. I must have re-written 9 or 10 times. It was nuts. By the time the end of Saturday came I wanted nothing else to do with Microsoft Word or even computers. I think it went well, whoever knows right.

Feelings of missing mom have come to the surface again. Saturday night I went to a movie with my friend Bekah. The movie ended up being about a girl who goes to spend the summer with her dad. She comes to find out that he is sick with advanced cancer and not much time to live. Memories came flooding back of our last few months with my mom and I was a mess. I almost didn't make it through the movie, but did with only having to leave once. That night while in bed I got a call from one of my old youth at my old church saying that her dad had passed away just a few hours before. I knew her dad, spent time with him when I was at that church, my heart just went and does go out to the family. They asked if I would come over and spend some time with their brother/son who has some special needs. I felt very ill-equipped to be in this situation since my grief is yet so fresh and at times I feel like I am back to square one with it. I went over there and spent quite a few hours there listening, cleaning and playing several games of chess. His death was very sudden and has caught each of them off guard. If you can keep them in your prayers that would be great!

I talked with my friend Jan about my experience at their house and through the weekend with how I'd been feeling and even said "I feel like I am back to square one" she said when you help someone get through their grief when you are still grieving it might help you to process things more and deeper. A good way to look at things.

2010-05-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

I got the chance to get out of town for a couple of days. I drove down to Missouri to visit my teammate Jackie. I hadn't seen her since September. She was directing a musical so a good time to go and visit and show support. I hadn't been out of town for fun in quite some time so it was really nice to get away and catch up with her and have some good time alone as well. I'm really thankful for my Youth Encounter team. It's maybe easy to say that now that we've been back home for a year but how amazing that God called us all together for that purpose and to be together!

Today was an exciting day, my brother Tom graduated from College. He began in 1986 and just went back a few years ago to finish up his bachelors and next year he will start working on his MBA. It was just really nice to be there with him and support him in this big accomplishment. He had a big graduation party which was awesome. Full of food and lots of people. His partner Kelly made a speech about why they threw such a big party for something that he started 24 years ago and how it's important to celebrate in one's accomplishments. He also shared that our families have been through a lot these past couple of years and it was nice to get togther on a fun and positive note and that my mom was there with us in spirit. We were all crying during that part. It's true, that mom was there. We sure miss her!

I've been reading through Isaiah and tonight I read some really good stuff I would like to share...

Isaiah 40:28-31
The Lord is the everlasing God
The creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

This Mother's Day was a bit strange. I woke up that morning feeling a little confused and again began dealing with different emotions pertaining to the loss of my mom. For one of the first times I began to wish I would've spent more time with her and wish that I could go see her even one more time. I've been dealing with a bad cold so that too has made me think of times I was sick and times that she took care of me. I remember very vividly one time when I was 8 or 9 and I was up in the middle of the night coughing. My sister Tracy was up with me and my mom came out with cough syrup and told me "once you swallow this you can't cough anymore". I didn't cough any more that night. Funny the things you remember.

I spent the morning as I do most Sunday's at church. We had the priveledge of having a Youth Encounter team with us Saturday evening and Sunday morning. They led us in worship and did a puppet show and the sermon which was so great. They had been with us a few months ago which made it even more special for us. Afterwards I spent the afternoon with my friend Jan and her family. They made a great lunch! After we ate I layed on the couch and eventually fell asleep. When I woke up my friend Jan was sitting in the window reading a book. I remember feeling so thankful for her and for other people that GOd has placed in my life. I definately think of her as a mother and thought it was neat on a tough day like that to be able to wake up and see her watching over me similiar to how my real mom probably was.

We got together as a family for dinner which was neat. Julianna was there which is such a great addition to our family. Sometimes when we get together now you can tell someone is missing and it seems like we're just trying to figure out life now.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers!
Kristine

Chinese Fellowship Group

2010-05-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I had the opportunity to be the guest for a Chinese Fellowship group. There is a Chinese couple that attends my new church. This month was at their house so they asked if I'd be willing to come and share about my time on Team and mainly traveling to Asia. They made traditional chinese food which was delicious. I was reminded many times of my time in Asia from my short time there. There were incredibly hospitable, at times conversed in Chinese and sang off key during our singing time. I felt so blessed to be asked to be there and to be able to share some of my experience and to lead them in some worship.

2010-05-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

Good Morning! Last weekend I encountered my first confirmation class at my new church. It was quite different than I am used to at All Saints. I had two kids get confirmed. The service was quite similar although it was during the normal Sunday services. I got to deliver part of the message and the kids shared their faith papers as a major part of the message.

My anxiety has died down quite a bit from last weekend which has been quite nice. It's amazing how far things have come for me in the past few years. It was clear to me that I needed to let out some of the emotions that I had been carrying on with me for the past two months since my mom passed. I had a dream last night that my mom had three weeks to live and she was still alive. I've had those dreams before and always is weird.

God is teaching me a lot. I have been doing some accountability with a couple of friends on reading the Bible. I am nearly halfway through Isiah. Isiah is 64 chapters. It's a lot of deep stuff.

Wishing a Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's out there! You do amazing work!

In Christ, Kristine

2010-05-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

So as part of my job at Creative LIghting I have been looking at other people's blogs and making comments on them. I have come across some quite interesting posts. Today I was struck by one I read. It was from a lady who said she was so tired she didn't even feel like blogging. She said she decided instead to get a STarbucks and sit and drink it and to think about her community of friends. She made a comment saying that conversations with people are always better when they are all believer's in Christ. Thought that was neat.

The pain and sadness came to a climax yesterday pertaining to my mom's death. I believe I had some sort of a panic attack at work and later in the afternoon totally broke down with many, many tears. I get so scared at times when weird things happen to me mainly because I have seen my mom get so sick. Yesterday, I felt so much pain and sadness it seemed unbearable. I've felt a little stressed this week with things going on with my jobs and then this feeling of grief. It will feel great getting through this day. I slept very little last night.

I am preaching tomorrow at my church and it is Confirmation Sunday. It's not a full sermon because the kids are reading their personal faith statements. My roommate and I got up this morning and went to a spinning class at the Y which was a good way to start the day. I am working today adn tonight will be working on getting ready for church tomorrow.

That's all for now,
Kristine

2010-04-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

Starting yesterday I hit a sudden wall of grief. It just kind of came out of no where. Weird, a sudden hit of emotions and pain pertaining to mom's death and have felt like some moments are quite tough. Still feeling pretty similar today. I guess this is all part of the process. I think it's just a tough time of year too and there are added emotions with the arrival of Julianna who by the way is beautiful and doing really good. I mean time of year because it's close to Mother's Day and springtime and summer which was mom's favorite time of the year.

Life is a strange thing, don't you think? I was talking with my kids at Confirmation last night about confessing with your mouth that Jesus is Lord. Our theme verse was out of Romans chapter 10. I used a video from you tube on the story of Cassie who was one of the girls that died at the Columbine shooting. Cassie was asked if she believed in God and was told if she said yes she would die. She said yes and was killed. The faith of my kids is hard to guage. Sometimes I feel grave discontentment and at other times feel somewhat content. I've been thinking of this whole confessing thing though. I think thats part of what draws me to youth ministry is to have kids encounter God at an earlier age so that they can confess about God's love to their schools and around this world.

This is my babbling for the day

Kristine

2010-04-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I began a devotional series that is printed in my Bible that says 30 days of promises. The way it works is that each day it gives you a small passage of scriputre to read. The scriputure gives you encouragement/a promise for something going on. Todays was for "if you feel like you are at the end of your rope".

Matthew 11:25-30
"At that time Jesus said, I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from teh wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.
"All things have been committeed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light."

The last part of this passage is very familiar to me. I've heard it many times but yet when I feel tired and burdened I, not so often remember this...to come to Him. I have found myself tired a bit and feeling a little discontentment with certain areas of my life which takes a lot of energy. I've also been going through another series of very vivid dreams with my mom appearing in them. I have been giving some thought to going to a grief support group. I hear they have those kinds of things. The feelings come and go. It's just tough.

Julianna has been doing very well along with mom(my sister Tracy). Prayers are needed for them as they head home tomorrow (Sunday). Julianna has been eating well (breast-feeding) today. I went to the hospital last night and held her for almost 2 hours. So, precious!

I have added more photos.

Julianna Jean

2010-04-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

Julianna was born just before noon today, April 22. Absolutely Beautiful. She is 8lbs. 8 oz. I have only seen her for a second to take a photo. So excited. Missing mom today of course.

Patiently Awaiting Julianna

2010-04-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

We are excited about the new addition to our family, Julianna Jean. She is expected to arrive into this world on Thursday, April 22 by a scheduled c-section (not sure if there is another way to spell that). I went over and helped my sister Tracy decorate and put away stuff in the Julianna's room. It's full of hearts and hopefully she will know how loved she is already before even being in this world yet. The middle name Jean is after my mom, that was her middle name. I feel like we have all encountered so much loss this year with the passing of mom that this is one of God's many ways of providing for us. Although no one can replace my mom ever this will be a reminder of my mom and of the beauty of God's creation.

I am reminded of Psalm 139 which I will share with you below:

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;the night will shine like the day,for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake,I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

What a great reminder that God is with us always and created us in His like-ness. Thanks be to God!

2010-04-08T11:57:00.001-07:00

I have enjoyed trying to continue to make connections at my new church. This week was my second meeting with my Children's Ministry Team that I formed a few months ago. God has formed an amazing team and I enjoy the opportunity to work with them. Our church will be doing a Vacation Bible School this summer in August. It will be the first time ones been done in 10 plus years. It's exciting to be a part of it.

Yesterday we reconvened Confirmation after lent. The kids were very rumbustious because they hadn't been together in the large group setting since February because of lent. It was nice to be back together. It is a different setting than I am used to at All Saints which I am still getting used to. There are 12 kids versus 120 and it is quite a bit more low key. I am deep in thought quite often about their faith lives and pray for God's presence to be felt by them.

I am going to attend a spinning class tonight at the YMCA. I have recently discovered that I may have knee issues so the bicycle should be a good exercise for me.

2010-04-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter to everyone! I hope it was a joy filled holiday for you! What a great day that we can celebrate the fact that Jesus raised from the dead for each of us. This was an Easter for me comprised of a few firsts.

One, this was my first Easter at my new church. We had two worship services with an Easter Egg hunt in the middle for children that I was in charge of. It's always fun to see people dressed up and excited about the day. I do the Children's Messages at my church so it was really neat to share the Easter Story with the kids. I read them a story about Jesus. A lot of people came to church and there were a lot of children there. I've been singing a song with them that I learned on team called "i've got so much". The song has the kids singing i've got so much 13 times it's pretty funny. They do a good job with it.

The other first was Easter without my mom. All my siblings and thier children and I went to my Aunt's house in Lakeville. It was nice to be all together. I felt the absnece of my mom and just like something or someone was missing. It was a nice day though.

My emotions with the loss of my mom goes in waves. Last week was pretty tough on me. Lots of sadness and anger. I've been pretty angry and had a tough time with God. I am blessed to have good friends and a good support system. I got reconnect with some former youth this weekend which was really great!

2010-03-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty good week. Tracy and I celebrated our 32nd birthday this past week. We didn't get to celebrate together yet but the day was a good one. I feel blessed to have so many people a part of my life and to have the support of so many.

My heart remains a little empty with the loss of my mom. It's funny, I feel like the days will get easier and at times they do but at other times I feel like it gets harder. I go back and forth between anger and sadness. Mostly though in recent days sadness and missing of her. I find it hard to believe I won't see her again here on earth and can't do the little things like call her or go and see her. My mind goes between times she was healthy and to times she wasn't. Today I thought of just over a year ago when my Youth Encounter Team and I went to surprise her in December. It was the first time i'd seen her in a little over 3 months. She saw me through the door and got really excited, she recognized me and said "my baby has come home". A moment I hope to never forget. She brought us up to her apartment and was eager to tell her friends in her building that he "baby had come home".

I feel such a void. She has been a pretty active part of my life for the past 32 years and in recent years a very constant part. At times I just don't feel like I know how to function without her here. It's just weird. I've been making small steps to go beyond my anger and ask for God's help and guidance. The other night I was trying to get to sleep and was mixed with all sorts of emotions (sadness, anger, fear) I finally asked God to just be present, I immediately fell asleep. It's amazing how God works isn't it? Even when we can be so distant we can ask and He is present immediately.

I read the following on a friends facebook page the other day And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. Romans 8:38

So true. God is good!

2010-03-20T07:38:00.001-07:00

It just has to be said that in the midst of everything that has transpired in the past few weeks even months I LOVE BEING A YOUTH PASTOR. It's been and continues to be quite different at my new church and has challenges (like any church or profession) and I welcome those challenges. Last night was our first "Youth Night". Youth Nights will be once a month and a chance to basically hang out. I had two girls come who are sisters. The event was a cereal and movie night. It's just amazing how God works and how through something as simple as playing battleship, eating Frosted Flakes and watching a movie you can feel God at work and that seeds of faith and love are being planted.

My emotions or my feelings about all the events with my mom's go up and down sometime day by day or even hour by hour. I find that in the last few days I have been sad and one day even cried (breifly). I say that because i haven't cried much. That sometimes makes me feel like i'm not grieving. I talked with a friend about that the other day who took a hospice class. She said that I am grieving and that everyone grieves in different capacities. That made me feel better. I wish someone could just take the pains of life away at times and I know if people could they would.

I feel the love and prayers of so many and know that I too am praying for you. I've started a prayer journal. My quiet times with God have been sparse the past few months so I am working on changing that to find God's peace.

My mom's birthday is coming up on the 28th of March she would've been 64 this year.

2010-03-17T19:57:00.000-07:00

Psalm 62
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes form him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down - this leading wall, this tottering fence?
They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies. With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse.

Find rest, O my soul in God alone; my hope comes form him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation and my honor depends on God, he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Lowborn men are but a breath, the highborn are but a lie; if weighed on a balance, they are nothing; together they are only a breath.
Do not trust in extortion or take pride in stolen goods; though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them.

One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, Oh God, are strong, and that you, O Lord are loving.

Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.

2010-03-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

I continue to feel the love and support of so many. It's been a different week. I don't thi nk the realization of my mother's loss has fully sunk in for me. It's weird I haven't cried very much but think about my mom and the events of the past couple of years quite often. Just about every night this past week I have dreamt that it didn't happen and that mom is still alive. Weird feelings and emotions.

This weekend we gathered as a family to move my mom's things out of her room, divide her assets and opened cards that we received at the service last week. We have all been so blessed with so much support it has been wonderful and i find at times undeservant of it. I feel so blessed and loved by so many so thank you for all your prayers adn support for me and for my family.

Today I spent a pretty full day at my church. I preached which was fun to do again and we had an afternoon fundraiser. I find myself getting to know the people at my church a little more and beginning to form some relationships which feels good, really good.

2010-03-09T11:27:00.000-08:00

YEsterday was quite the celebration for mom. The service was really nice and was attended by many of her friends, family members and many of ours as well. Today, has brought fatigue to me and a heaviness of emotions which I haven't quite let out yet. I feel so blessed to have two really good jobs but feel like my attention to them has been pretty weak and I feel bad that at times I seem so tired that I can't get to the things I need to attend to. There is a lot for me to learn in this about slowing down, resting, etc. Honestly though I feel like my life is pretty slow-paced right now I guess compared to life before my year on team.

These are my random thoughts for now. Thank you for all your prayers and support.

Kristine

Link to Mom's Obituarie

2010-03-04T07:55:00.001-08:00

http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/sandieclemens/Homepage.aspx

The above website will take you a to a memorial site for my mom and you can read the obituary and stuff there.

Kristine

March 3

2010-03-03T21:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry to have not written for a while. Last week was a great week with mom. She enjoyed ribs, mashed potatoes, a roll outside in her wheel chair, many visits from her brother, sisters, friends and many more. This past Sunday however mom began to slip quite a bit and by Monday was quite unresponsive. Amy, the Hospice nurse told us that mom's pulse was fading and we would begin to see increased change in mom.

Yesterday I received a call from my brother Tim that I should come over quickly because mom's pulse was at 160 (average for a person is 85 ish) and her blood pressure was low (60/40). Mom didn't have anytime with out a visit from one or all of us and the presence of Bob. Tracy stayed with mom until 3:30am and Tim spent the night with her. This morning (Wednesday) I arrived around 8:45am to see Tom, Teresa and Tim already with her. The hospice nurse again visited us. She mentioned to us that mom's breathing had been showing some changes and that mom was nearing the end of this life.

Around 10:00am I left with Tim to take him home and to run a few errands. Within 25 minutes I received the call that mom's breathing had stopped at that she is now with the Lord, living in peace. After Tim and I left Teresa and Tom were sitting with her. Teresa left to get some fresh air and get the nurse. In that time Tom let my mom know that it was okay for her to go and she went immediately.

We were able to spend most of the day together arranging details and stuff of the like. We are very grateful for mom and for the people that she has helped us to become. I have even noticed in this short time of her body being gone that her presence will always be missed!!!!

A service of celebration will be on Monday. You can check startribune.com for all details.

Thank you so much for your support, love and prayers!
Kristine

Monday

2010-02-22T14:25:00.000-08:00

Hello All,

I apologize for being a few days since an update. Mom was discharged from the hospital on Thursday of last week and has begun Hospice Care at the Prairie Lodge where she lives. We are very blessed to have such good care for mom from the Prairie Lodge and from the Hospice Care people. Mom showed some decline over the weekend which has caused some grave concern on the part of us her family. Her breathing is intensifying and her body is becoming weaker. The nurse on Saturday said it could go rather quickly, the one on Sunday said it could go slow, and the one today said it could go quickly. Hard to know what at believe so I believe we are all just trying to take things one day at a time.

It's pretty emotional and hard to watch her in the way that she is now. At times I wish God would just take her so that she could be with Him in His eternal peace but other times I get selfish because I'm not ready for her to not be here anymore. I have spent a majority of my life with my mom. I lived with just her and my twin sister from the time I was 7 to 19 then on and off from there. I have so many memories that involve her and will miss her so very much when she does meet Jesus.

We've been blessed by many visitors, people dropping of meals, visits from champlains and priests, many prayers and a lot of blessings! I'm hoping to return to work tomorrow after taking yesterday off to be with mom.

That's all for now.

Kristine

Thursday

2010-02-18T09:23:00.000-08:00

It's nice to write the days at the top so I can remember what day it is. Short update. MOm will be discharged from the hospital today and will begin receiving Hospice Care at her place of residence. Our family will meet with the HOpsice Team this afternoon and devise a care plan for mom and her remainder of life. We are trying to keep positive and to give mom the best care possible in her end stages of life.

Thanks for your support and prayers!

Love, Kristine

2/17

2010-02-17T09:58:00.000-08:00

Mom continues to be in the hospital and probably will for a few more days then we are really hoping she will be able to return home. The decision was made when she does return home that she will be receiving Hospice Care. Hospice is a group of people that will come into where she is living to give her comfortable care for the remainder of her life. They are not sure how long she has to live. If you saw her you would'nt believe it. I can't imagine her sticking around much longer in the condition that she is currently in.

Mom continues to be pretty much bed-ridden. She is restless and anxious. They are giving her drugs to calm her down and help her to sleep which is really good. I don't think she knows when we are there. She does recognize voices (i think). Dr. Guter is one of her doctors who has been really helpful. She has a lot of compassion on my mom's case. She told me this morning that she pleaded with the neurologist asking "is there anything, anything, anything, that we can do" and the neurologist responded "i'm sorry".

Our hearts all go out to her. It's tough to watch her suffer. I often times (especially recently) have thoughts and feelings of the way things used to be years ago and even months ago when we could go out in public and take walks together and all that. Those kinds of events seem impossible now. I've been holding it together pretty good with brief moments of tears.

God has blessed us with visits from the hospital chaplains and with some Christian nurses. I spoke with an aide today who told me her sister and daughter are Christian but she is muslim and we had a nice chat about that.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We all appreciate it.

Kristine

Mom 2/16

2010-02-16T07:06:00.001-08:00

Mom continues to be at Methodist Hospital. She has been extremely agitated, restless and confused. She is continuing to decline. Definately hard to watch. She saw a neurologist this morning and they did an EEG and later on today will be doing an MRI. As I write this she is sleeping and will hopefully stay that way for a while. She probably hasn't slept in 20 hours or so because of being so restless.

We are planning on having a consultation/meeting as a family to talk about Hospice care when mom is released from the hospital. They are not sure of the release date as of yet. The neurologist said she has had this for 8 years and will continue to decline as she has already. The neurologist was very nice and the aids are really nice.

It's been emotional a bit but not to bad. I'm sad my mom has to go through this.

Kristine

Mom

2010-02-14T09:51:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday mom began to have an increased amount of falls. Averaging 20-30 a day. Mom tested positive for a UTI (another one) last weekend with a yeast infection on top of it. Her strength has continued to be very weak. YOu can see many bruises on her arms and hands from the falls ( I am assuming).

Last night I got a call from my sister Teresa that yet again mom was being taken to Methodist Hospital. The place that has her just can't take care of her with so many falls and mom has become very weak again and well it just sucks. They have admitted her to the hospital and are treating her with very heavy antibiotics for her UTI. She will hopefully be dismissed soon and will hopefully be able to return to her current place of resident.

I am so sad for my mom. It's crappy!

Kristine

A Shower of Blessings!

2010-02-14T09:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday (Saturday) we had a babyshower for my sister Tracy. Apparently there is an un-written rule that for your second child and beyond you don't have a baby shower. Tracy's friend Kristen suggested because my sisters supply of baby stuff has pretty much run out that we throw her a shower. Kristen did most of the planning ok about 95% of it.

With other things in life going on I have spent little to no time even thinking about the shower. Finally Friday night I thought I should remember what I said I would do and get those things ready. On Saturday the shower came. It has been a long time since I have been so overwhelmed with the love of Christ. All these people came some of which I had never met before and showered Tracy (and family) with an unbeilevable amount of gifts, prayers and love.

I think about it now and just can't believe it. God is good, He is so, so good!

Kristine

2010-02-06T16:56:00.000-08:00

Mom was released from the hospital last Wednesday (the 3rd). She began showing increased signs of confusion and has been pretty catatonic. When she was realeased on Wednesday she went to a new place. WE moved her stuff on Tuesay night. Her new place is associated with her former place just in a different building and provides more care which the hospital says is a must. Mom did really good her first day out of the hospital. She was walking and standing.

Beginning Thursday she has been falling and increased amount of times. The nurse told me that she quit counting yesterday after her 20th fall of the day. What happens is she will stand and maybe even try to walk and then just go down. Just weird. When she goes down it is dead weight and very hard to keep her up. It took me and the assitance of 3 others yesterday to try and get her back in her room. My heart breaks for her and her situation. I feel like we can't get a break in the deal.

Not sure what it is all about this rapid decline. She may have another U.T.I. (urinary track infection).

2010-02-02T08:53:00.000-08:00

Still with mom today at the hospital. Today will be the fifth day she's been in here. She has been approved by the doctor to be discharged as long as the facility she will be discharged to can handle her medical needs. She is unable to stand or walk with out a lot of assistance. Today she is not eating very much again and is having high blood pressure and a high heart rate which is unusual for her.

We need prayers for the next moves. Thanks!

Kristine

2010-02-01T08:59:00.001-08:00

This past Friday my mom was taken to the hospital. The aids at her place were unable to get her out of bed because her body was so weak. The admitted her to the hospital and that is where she still is. She was severely dehydrated and not eating at all. They are continuing to give her liquids and to try and get her to feel better so that she can be released and go back to her place. Her lifespan probably isn't very long but I don't know what that means either. It could be weeks, months, or maybe even a year who knows. I sometimes wish I knew but for the most part am happy for the time we get to have with her.

It can be more than a little stressful but I love my mom and want her to have the best care possible.

2010-01-28T08:14:00.000-08:00

I had a couple of rougher nights this week with my mom. She started the dying talk again with me on Monday night. It's just watching a person decline like she is.

Things at the church that I am working at seem to be plucking along. I find it hard that I am only part time because there is so much I would like to do. I also never want to be burnt out again or be as busy as I was previously so I am being cautious with my time and trying to work right around my 20 hours. Last night I met with the Confirmation leaders along with my boss and that went really well. I see there are improvements being made which is great to see. I also started a youth bible study last Sunday which will meet on Sunday mornings. I had two girls come who are sisters and we had a blast. They told me they have never done anything like that before which speaks volumes of where the youth ministry is at our church. It's been very non-existent so it is exciting to be a part of a little bit of movement.

I'm sad about Pastor Tim.

Kristine

2010-01-25T15:04:00.000-08:00

This weekend we had the New Vision team from Youth Encounter at our church. It was really nice to have them with us. They did a fabulous job. I don't I noticed on team even though people would tell us, what a blessing it is to have a team come to your church and lead worship for a morning. Our congregation was so blessed and it was so nice to have something different for a change. I'm not complaining though our normal stuff is good too (really good).

I've been leading the music for our Sunday School kids. I have been surprised how much I have enjoyed being a part of Sunday School. My involvement is very little which I probably enjoy also but it's good and the kids are adorable. We do rotation Sunday School which I am quite impressed with.

I spent Sunday evening with my mom. We watched the Vikings Game together. Well... I watched the Vikings game and she slept. She continues to be sedated most of the evenings when one of us is there. It's not easy to watch at times but at other times I feel like I get used to it. We will be getting her into some physical therapy soon which should help with her body that has been very cramped up and especially the newly developed slumping with the right side of her body.

Today, was really fun. I had lunch with my friend Penny. Penny used to work at the Business College I attended. I hadn't seen her in 4 or 5 years. She has two girls (12 and 9) who I hadn't seen in 8 years and she brought them with to lunch also. I think we sat and hung out together for over three hours. Lots of catching up to do. We are going to try and keep in better contact. Please pray for her daughter Jordynn if you think of it. She has been through way to much for a little girl in the past years. One of the several things is a battle with Leukemia which she has beat now for five years. She is a sweet, sweet girl who unfortuanately has been dealt some rough cards.

This afternoon I reconnected with Julia. Julia was one of my teammates last year and she lives real close to me and is going to Luther Seminary. We hadn't seen each other since September so it was nice to catch up.

That's all for now. Kristine

2010-01-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

I moved this past Monday into my new apartment. I am now living in Shoreview, really close to the Youth Encounter Office. I have two roommates. One of which I knew previously from Youth Encounter and the other one I just met on Tuesday. My new place is nice, very simple. I was sad to leave my house because I loved it so much, it was big and roommie and i practically had the basement to myself. So, i feel like I am back to reality. I really like how close I am to work. I am only 10 -15 minutes from each place at the most. In fact I filled up on Monday and tonight (Saturday) I still have a little over a half tank. Crazy. I am also close to the YMCA which is where I work out. I've been trying to work out almost every day which has been going well.

I like the church I am working at and finding the transition getting a little easier. This weekend we are having a Youth Encounter Team do our worshipp service on Sunday which I am very excited about. They came tonight to set things up. It makes me think a lot of my time on team and how much I enjoyed it especially now looking back after the experience is over.

Speaking of Team I ask you to pray for Mikey. Mikey was on a team last year to Denmark. He was diagnosed this week with an advanced stage of rectal cancer and basciallly told he has about two months to live. Mikey went home from team early last year because of stomach pains and problems they diagnosed him with something but recently found out that he was mis diagnosed and that it's really cancer. Mikey was married last Summer and has a two month old child. He can really use prayer. He will be meeting with a doctor this weeek to talk about treatment. The doctor advised him to forego treatment and to enjoy the last two months at home with his family but Mikey refuses to go home without a fight.

Kristine

2010-01-13T10:46:00.000-08:00

This last weekend was a great time of reunion with friends I haven't seen or talked to in a while. On Friday I went to dinner with my friend Bethany. Bethany is a friend from college and someone I just love! She has been in the Sudan with her husband for the past two years but is home now for a few months. Bethany challenges me and knows me really well. I really enjoyed hearing about what life has been like for her and all the crazy/wonderful and amazing things that are going on in their lives.

Saturday evening was a reunion with some friend I hadn't seen in a while. I had a group of girls over from my old church. How I love and miss them and am thankful that we can keep in touch even if it is not very frequent.

I continue to be so thankful for the many things God gives to me and the situations I see where He is glorified. Last week a man from our church who works at the local hospital saved a man's life by doing CPR compressions on him for 25 minutes while he waited for the ambulance to come. The Youth Encounter teams just left for overseas to the countries of India, AFrica, and Denmark. There is another team waiting to go to Australia. They are waiting on their Visa's. Apparently it is quite hard to get in there now adays.

I find that it is important to count your blessings and to see the good going on in light of the bad things as well. I feel like life has been weighing on me a bit with the events of the past few weeks, mainly my mom's health and my car accident. I've also found myself trying to care for some good friends going through some rather tough circumstances which fills my mind with prayers and concerns. I just wish you (I mean I) could do more for people.

I am rather thankful for the blessings God places in my life at the right times. Last Friday night my teammate Jackie and I spent over an hour together on the phone discussing life and praying for each other. I am so thankful for my teammates and the fact that God placed them in my life. I speak with them often and hear from them through text messages and facebook comments often as well which I find keeps us connected. I think that is so neat because like all friendships and relationships we all definately went through ups and downs on our year together but through God's grace and Holy Spirit we can still love each other and be there for one another. What a gift!

Back to the accident (quickly). The car was totalled on Monday. The money went to the owner of the car since we hadn't changed the title yet. I bought a new car on Monday evening. I feel like an adult again making my own purchases. It's nice to have something reliable. I told both of my bosses that they weren't allowed to fire me because I had just purchased a new car. They both laughed.

That's all for now. Love, Kristine

#12

2010-01-10T20:33:00.000-08:00

So, I have been watching my nephew Jacob play hockey for the past 15 plus years. He graduated from High School last year and is playing Juniors for the MN Owls out of Isanti, MN. One night after the season started Jacob met a young fan. He was around 10 - 12 years old and just fell in love with Jacob. This young fan found out that they were going to be auctioning off Jacob's jersey on January 10th. In order to win the jersey you have to purchase raffle tickets. The young fan told Jacob that he saved up all of his birthday money and Christmas money to buy tickets to win Jacob's jersey. He then said "I have $50.00". Such a sweet story. Then to make it even sweeter other people caught on to this and planned ahead to purchase raffle tickets and give them to him so he would have a better chance.

This afternoon was the big game. Unfortunately I wasn't able to be there but I heard from my brother that when they called out the number the kid immediately jumped up and ran across the arena because he had won. My brother said they kid will proabably never take it off and had a smile on his face that will be there for a long time.

Neat!

Kristine

P.S. #12 is Jacob's jersey number.

2010-01-07T07:22:00.001-08:00

It's Thursday now, 3 days after my accident. I feel like things are working themselves out which is really good. They awarded 100% liability to the other driver yesterday and will be going out to access the damage to my vehicle to see what the next step is going to be. Most likely they will total the car and I'll be back to where I started with no car and looking for a new one. I'm trying to keep an open mind though. I have a rental car until the 15th so that buys a bit of time. My whiplash is recovering. Yesterday I had quite a bit of back pain but today it is feeling better thus far.

I'll be moving next weekend to an apartment closer to both jobs. I'll be moving in with a lady from youth encounter. I"ll be sad to move out of my house. I simply love it here and it is so nice!

My mom has been doing good. NOt suffering anything from the accident which is a huge relief to me.

Kristine

2010-01-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

Sorry it has been so long since I have written last. We are happy that mom was realeased from Hastings last Wednesday and is settling nicely into her new place. We were happy and feel like it is such an answer to prayer that the final place to interview here and access her accepted her. She is in assisted living, with her own room that we decorated and have all of her stuff moved into, and we hired a PCA to spend some time with her each day while some of us kids rotate the evenings with her to help her get to bed. Still noticing that her body seems to be giving up a bit. She is slumping down on her right side with her head down and tilted. She has been very tired since being realeased from the hospital which we hope will end soon, but not sure.

I have begun doing Children's Sermons at my new church which has been fun and this week taught my first Sunday School with the kids. I will be doing music with the Sunday School kids when Rotation Sunday School starts next week. I'm working with them on two cantonese songs that we learned last year on Youth Encounter.

Yesterday I spent from 9:00 - 10:30am with my mom at her place. She was pretty sleepy most of the time with her eyes shut. I brought her a Caribou and that didn't even seem to do the trick. Around 10:30 when I needed to leave to pick a friend up from the airport she was alert and had her eyes wide open. I hated to have to leave her then so then had the idea of taking her with to the airport. She was so eager and excited to get outside, and I was just as excited to take her. I bundled mom up and we took off. It was neat when we got to Bloomington (where Tracy and I grew up and mom lived for many, many years) to point out places we've been before and to see her eyes opened and even a smile on her face.

After picking my friend and her sister up from the airport our next stop was bringing her sister home. While driving down Penn Avenue and getting ready to go straight threw a stop light (green by the way) a lady pulled out in front of me making a left hand turn and we got into an accident...in my new (used car that i've been waiting to get). Thankfully noone was hurt but our vehicles. I have a definate sore body and have been pretty emotional but we are all so lucky. Praying that the insurances companies will get things figured out tomorrow so we can move ahead. Looks like the fault of the accident will be given to the other driver which will be good. Just hoping to get a rental car and then the car fixed. I'm hoping it's not totalled but won't know. My mom was pretty shooken up and that made things harder emotionally for me. Even though the accident wasn't my fault I feel responsible and have been pretty down on myself, i'm getting over that too, or trying to.

Thanks for your prayers and support!
Kristine

2009-12-27T09:25:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! It's a few days late. Hope you enjoyed a nice holiday with your friends and family. The sermon today in church was really good (i thought). He talked about how Christmas isn't just a once a year holiday but something to be celebrated all year long.

I attended church at Christ the Servant on Christmas Eve at 4:00. They do a really nice job with the services. I had a hard time though. I was thinking about family, mostly my mom and how she wasn't going to be home with us for Christmas. I was also thinking about my visit with her the day before. She is doing pretty good. However I can tell she is decling and it seems pretty rapid. Her body is giving out (it seems). She has a constant hunch over and it's difficult for her to lift her head up. The nurse says its from the medication which doesn't make much sense to me but they are the experts. At 8:00 I went to church at All Saints (my former church). Being at All Saints brought a different feeling. It brought a sense of family being with me and I didn't feel sad because I was surrounded by so many I love. Dont' get me wrong I'm not complaining, just transitioning to my new place which I love and the people I love too. It's just neat how God provides people for you when you need it the most.

Christmas Day was really nice. We gathered as a family for a really good meal and time together. We were without my mom and my dad and Jan because they got snowed in which was also sad. We had a wonderful time together and it was just really nice. In the afternoon Tom, Kelly, Kaylah and I went to Hastings to bring my mom Christmas dinner and some pie. She loved it all and was especially happy to see Kaylah (my niece, her granddaughter).

Mom will be releaesed on Wednesday of this next week. We need lots of prayers because we are not sure where exactly she will be moving to. It has been extremely difficult if not impossible to find a place that will take her with her health condition(s). We have one final place meeting with her tomorrow. As a family we are exploring some other options but I think are in need of a lot of prayer to make it all happen and to take care of her the best and ourselves.

Thank you for all your support!

Love, Kristine

2009-12-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

Mom continues to be at the Grace Unit in Hastings, MN. She has been there nearly two weeks (well.. Friday will be two weeks). She is showing vast improvement. She is no longer doing much mumbling or seeing any hallucinations which is incredible. They have changed her medications around and that is helping her a lot. I have been to visit her there twice and have enjoyed both visits very much. I can't help but notice how tired she seems to be and almost catatonic (spelling). This past weekend she told me that life is really hard. I asked her what was hard and she said "dying". I asked her then if she was dying and she said "yes, but I don't know why I haven't yet". She then was filled with tears and I held her like she used to hold me. She smiled though and even laughed once which I haven't seen her do in quite some time.

Unfortunately she has shown some signs of agressiveness or harshness in her tone and has been putting up a fight with medications so they are continuing to keep her until after Christmas. Hoping that she will show some consistency. We are all very sad she won't be home for Christmas. But we will have another Christmas with her when she gets out. I hate leaving her when I goto visit.

We are looking into a new place for mom and hopefully a place she can live the remainder of her life at. Prayers for that is needed and appreciated.

I am continuing to get acquainted with Christ the SErvant and enjoying my time here. I am finding some challenges but looking forward to dealing with them and to getting to know the kids here a bit better.

Last Saturday was my last day working at Bruegger's. I began yesterday as a customer service rep at Creative Lighting in St. Paul. I was or have actually been a little sad about the transition. I grew to really like working at Brueggers and really love my boss there a lot which made working there so enjoyable. I'm also a person who doesn't do real well with change so that has something to do with it all as well. I just finished reading a really good book by Donald Miller called "Through the Painted Desserts". I really like reading his books. He also wrote "Blue Like Jazz". I find that he writes sometimes right out of my brain. This book was about a road trip he went on with a friend and all that they discovered together including faith and friendships with many people. Donald has some other books that I want to check out and hopefully will soon. It's funny I have never been much of a reader but I really enjoy his books and have read quite a few books in the past year. Last night I actually chose finishing my book over tv or the computer. weird.

Merry Christmas to ALL! I hope this Christmas you discover CHRIST in a new way.

2009-12-11T19:30:00.001-08:00

Yesterday (Thursday) my mom had quite the rough day. Rough being used very loosely. She had been up since Midnight and was in a rage. Throughout the course of not sure how much time she became very violent and agressive with the aides there and even knocked down a resident. She was out of control and a policeman and an ambulance took her to the hospital. As my brother and sister arrived they experienced what had been going on first hand. She was very verbally abusive with them and just angry. She was admitted into the hospital and given some sedatatives which did a lot for her. She slept from about 1:00pm until around 10:30pm then awoke for a brief amount of time and then fell back asleep. She required one on one personal care. Today she was transported to another hospital in Hastings where she will be for 10 - 12 days possibly more and possibly less. They will work with her to see if they can control this behavior and hopefully get her off of some of her medications (that could or could not be causing these outbreaks).

It's been very emotional and draining on all of us. She has very strict visiting hours at her place just one hour a day from 4:00 - 5:00. I will be going to see her tomorrow with Tracy (my sister).

I am still learning and counting my blessings in the midst of it all, or trying my hardest to. The hardest for me is just seeing her suffer so. It's just painful to watch how hard life is for her. It just sucks. Really sucks!! It's the hardest thing I've ever had to watch.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support we all really appreciate it.

In Christ, Kristine

2009-12-08T13:22:00.000-08:00

Last Tuesday we received a call that they place in which my mom is staying is unable to handle her anymore. She has been having an increased amount of agressive behavioral episodes and they felt as if she could not be safe there. Wednesday made for quite the day especially when mom had a rough night and they said she needed to be out that day. We didn't know what to do. I took my mom to a routine appointment with her oncologist. Mom and I have probably been to see this doctor and her nurse 30 - 40 times at least. Mom had various breakdowns with them which means very verbal behavior and agreessiveness. It was a hard appointment for me. I cried through the whole thing and had pretty big cheeks afterwards. It's just so hard to watch and even harder to think of what life must be like for her.

On Thursday we moved mom into a nursing home in Excelsior, MN. She has been there now since then and I think it is going pretty good there! She has had only one "fit" so far and they were able to handle it without giving her the medication that sudates her. I think if you can do anything without medicine that is great. I was with her yesterday as well for another doctors appointment. I find sometimes when I am with her I just don't want to bring her home because I love her so much and hate to see her suffering. We'll see how things continue to go for her.

Sunday was my installation at Christ the Servant so things are offical now. It was a nice installation and the church is very welcoming to me which is very nice. Today was my first staff meeting and I feel like things are getting moving, that is a good feeling.

I'm excited about the snow!! Except for the commuting from Plymouth but oh well. I can't wait to get out skiing.

Don't Worry? About Anything?

2009-11-29T19:58:00.000-08:00

Matthew 6:25-30 reads:

"therefore I tell you, do not worry abotu your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the aird; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. THey do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like the one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Worry is often a reoccuring theme in my life (as you may know, if you know me) I have found it though to be much better in the past year. Last night I began to get restless as I began to think of the unknown future of my life. I can get my mind so worked up that I sometimes wish I was never born (don't worry I dont' mean this in a dangerous way). I have found in the past few months I have lacked joy in my life and find myself simply living from day to day. I am sure there are things that have contributed to that like my mothers ever decreasing health, unemployment, car troubles, etc.

I think in the midst of it all I have lost connection to God and for me that is hard. My quiet times have dwindled to very few if any each week but yet in church on Sunday's I find myself feel so great to be fed. Sorry for my babbling but please bare with a few more minutes. For the past 5 years I have done my best to pour out spiritually to other people in many different ways and as much as I try at times to refill myself I don't do it good enough and find myself to the point I am at now.

I find my answer in Matthew 6:33 - 34 which reads "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. There fore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

What a good response we hear from God's word. I think easier sometimes said than done but definately do able. It's like I've always told youth at All Saints that our relationship with God is a friendship that needs to be sought on both ends whole-heartedly. I guess I can use some prayers in my own walk with God so that I can be a good leader in my new calling and feel a peace from Him in the midst of it all.

Thanks for listening! Kristine

2009-11-20T10:10:00.000-08:00

I began this week my new job at Christ the Servant. My first day was a bit overwhelming but good. I am working on getting settled into my new office and learning my way around the place. On Wednesday evening I got to meet some of the kids in Confirmation and some of the leaders which made me feel really good. The church is a smaller congregation (about 100 - 200 members on a Sunday morning). They have been without someone in my position for two years so are very happy to have someone at the church who will be working with children and youth. The neat thing is that there are a lot of volunteers in place because they haven't had a paid person so there is some solid foundation to begin with but still a lot to do and a lot to refresh. I am excited for the challenge.

My biggest stressor at this time is that I need to find a car! The car I was going to get from Wisconsin didn't work out, well it almost did but once I got the car back home it stalled and we discovered quite a few problems with it. The truck is still making it but seems as though is definately on it's last lag. It gets louder every day. If you know of anything let me know, I would be very appreciative even if you have an extra car sitting around for a week or so. Thanks!

I spent some time this week with my mom. We spent quite a bit of time together at the doctor's office. She was having a test done because there is still a spot on her lung that hasn't cleared up from her phenomia last summer. The doctor is pretty sure it's not cancer which is good. Mom was up and down through out time together. After the long doctors visit we went to a late lunch at Bunny's in St. Louis Park which was really good. I got her a beer which she loved. She loves getting out of her house. About 20 times during lunch mom said "oh thank you", really sweet.

Thats all for now

Kristine

2009-11-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

Thank you for those of you who have been praying for my mom. I spent some time with her this weekend on Friday and Saturday and she has been a different person. On Friday she seemed peaceful as I went to visit her at her new place. She smiled frequently and her speech was pretty clear. We drank some coffee and ate cookies and then I left. She has been adopted in the family there by the residents which makes me feel really good. On Saturday my brother Tom and I took her shopping for some new clothes. Dressing her is not the easiest of tasks but she did quite good with it on Saturday. She was happy to be out of the house and happy to breathe in some fresh air. I'm amazed out how quickly the disease has impacted her life. Outwardly you wouldn't even notice she still looks so young and is so pretty. Once verbal communications need to be made or movements it begins to be quite noticable.

I attended my first service this morning at Christ the Servant Church. I am anxious to get things moving there. THe congregation is quite small and so very nice and welcoming. They have been without a childrens/youth director for two years I believe so they are just as anxious as I am for me to get started. My first official day will be on Wednesday. Pastor Jim and the others on the call/hiring task force as well as the council are very welcoming and that is great. It will be more transition I believe for me (thus the theme of the past year). I didn't realize at first but it will be quite the change transitioning into a new congregation. I thankful that God has given me this opportunity to serve Him in this way at this church.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support! Kristine

It's Official

2009-11-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

I am officially the Director of Children's and Youth Ministry at Christ the Servant Lutheran Church in Vadnais Heights, MN. I will be working with children and youth from birth through college aged. This Sunday will be my first Sunday there and I will begin office hours and teaching Confirmation this next week. I am very eager to get going and thankful to God for this opportunity to serve Him.

My installation is still being worked out. It is tentivaly planned for next Sunday the 23rd. I will continue working part time at Bruegers Bagels near Ridgedale shopping area.

Thanks for all your prayers and support!

Kristine

"It's not your time yet"

2009-11-09T20:11:00.000-08:00

I'll take a moment to be very open. I admit that in my lifetime there have been some harder moments, transitions, and tough times. You hit them head on and usually with some prayer and other things no problem. Something that I just can't quite seem to adjust to is the rapid decline in my mother's health. She is transitioning into her new place and for the most part doing quite well. There have been many emotional days with her. My brothers spent a great deal of time with her last night talking with her and mostly listening to her speak and speak very clearly about her thoughts and feelings of her current situation. The disease is just so nasty. I think one of the hardest parts of it is that she just wants her old life back, to take care of her kids, watch her grand kids, etc. and she just can't.

I went to visit her today. She spends the days at a day center with other residents from the five Sojourns houses. After hearing the report of her great emotions yesterday I was a little worried, well just didn't know what to prepare for. I walked down the hallway hearing lots of drumming and looked in the room where there were several people (including my mom) playing instruments along with a drummer. As soon as she saw me she began to cry and tell me "i'm ready to..., i'm ready to..., i want..." and eventually said "heaven" "it's time for me to go there". Mom and I went out into the hallway and talked through that for a while. It's amazing how God works in situations because I fought back the tears to try and be strong for my mom ( which I think I was) and tried to explain that it just wasn't her time yet, that she had more work to do here on earth and that God' wasnt' ready for her just yet. She said she feels helpless, worthless and that she can't do anything anymore.

While we were talking a worker from the day center came by and brought mom and I into a more private room so we could talk in a more quiet setting (minus the drumming). The lady brought us coffee. My mom said that she wanted a cup but couldn't drink it anymore because she had spilt a cup yesterday. I told her I spill coffee all the time. It was with a lot of joy that I watched her drink that cup of coffee all the way and to even see a smile on her face as she did it. The afternoon got better after that. The worker took us on a tour and I was able to let her know some of the things mom likes. We eventually ended up back in the music room and played some instruments together with the drummer. I saw much more life back in her when I left and even some smiles so that is great.

Please say some prayers for her in the midst of this transition. Thank You!

Love, Kristine

A Surprise Visit

2009-11-05T19:51:00.001-08:00

My good friend Linda who has now moved to North Carolina came in and surprised me at Brueger's the other day. She was in town for a few hours and said to me that she said "Lord if I should see Kristine may she be working" and I was. It brightened my whole day and was just so great.

2009-11-05T19:42:00.000-08:00

My stepmom Jan had surgery today on her face. You know I am continually amazed at what or should I say how doctors/surgeons can do things. They went up through her mouth to fix the bones in her face. Crazy! They placed 3 plates in her face and aligned the fractured bones. The surger went great and Jan is recovering well and hopefully getting out of the hospital tomorrow (Friday).

Mom has been having a tough transition at her new place. The hardest thing for her is that she can't smoke there. This has caused many mood swings and some aggressive behavior. We have been keeping our distance so that she can get used to the place. That hasn't been the easiest of things for me. I called her tonight and talked with her on the phone and I think that caused more stress for her. The aide said that she was doing great though and having a good day so that is really good news. She can use some prayers!

The emotions of having two sick parents, waiting for my new job to start and finances has caused emotions and anxiety for me. Not a huge amount but every once in a while. Most of the time I am pretty strong and have my emotions in check but then there is something that will push it over. For me today it was an eye exam. I haven't worn contacts since May. They were irritating my eyes. My glasses broke in August but I was able to super glue them back together. Last night my glasses broke for the final time. I bought 3 tubes of super glue to get them back together but no luck. I found a good place to go with good prices. I will leave the name out. For several reasons the prices skyrock-ed and I am sure it had nothing to do with the price but it was a trigger and I cried right there in front of the lady. She was wonderful though and even discounted my package (of exam, glasses and contacts). I will be calling her manager to rave about her good customer service. I'm excited for my new glasses to come in a week or so and am getting used to wearing contacts again which is fun.

Thats all for now! Kristine

A New place for Mom

2009-11-02T21:13:00.001-08:00

As most of you know about 6 weeks ago we moved my mom to a new building in her development that was to give her more/better care. In the last few weeks it has been revealed to us that her care there (although ok) at times was just plain awful. The final straw was when my sister walked into see mom last week and found her standing in the middle of her living room with no shirt on and soiled pants. She then found pills on the floor.

Teresa had already been looking for something for mom and was blessed to find a great place. It is located in Shorewood, MN so near Minnetonka and is a house with 6 other residents who are all around her age with similar health issues. They believe strongly in community living. Each day they eat all of their meals together at a big dining room table, go to a day center together where they can do a variety of activities, socialize together, watch tv and can have their own alone time whenever they would like. We moved mom on Friday. The transition for her will be tough for a while but we are hoping and praying that we have found a good fit for her.

Saturday she dressed up as a bumble bee for their Halloween Party. The Nurses/Aids dressed up in costumes and served them audourves and drinks and I played some guitar with them. It was a good time.

Mom can use some prayers in transitioning to her new place.

Love, Kristine

2009-10-31T19:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't written any updates since last week, it's been kind of a wild week. I am happy to report that Jan is doing much better. She ended up receiving a pace maker to hopefully prevent future falls. Her face is healing but she may still need further sugery on her face, we will find out this week. She was dismissed from the hospital on Tuesday evening.

Today is an exciting day. I accepted a posiiton as a Youth and Children's Director. I can't say anymore information on that for another week since it hasn't been voted on yet by the council but the position was offered to me today and I accepted. It's a part time position for now but will hopefully grown into a full time job. In the mean time I will continue to work at Bruger's. I am excited and will start (pending the council's approval) in two weeks!!!

I feel like God has definately been at work at Bruegers. I have been blessed with many opportunities to share about this past year with customers and people I work with. There is a person I work with who has been heavy on my heart. He told me the other day "I just can't wait until the world ends". What? I just can't imagine living with that mentality. He told me "I have no room for religion in my life". I'll be praying for him. I definately have my ups and downs with my faith but I can't say I have ever come to a point where I don't believe or even fully doubt God and for that I am thankful. I just can't imagine that so it makes my heart go out to the people who are living like that.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Love, Kristine

A Long Day!

2009-10-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

I awoke around midnight this morning to a phone call that my step mom Jan had fallen pretty severely and was being taken by ambulance to the Emergency Room. They now live in Northern Minnesota which is where they went. Because of injuries to her face which include fractures and a broken nose they transported her to North Memorial Hospital. My sister Teresa and I met her there around 3:30am. I won't go into the details of how she looked but to sum up in saying it was pretty bad. Lots of blood, swelling and bruising in the face area. The doctor confirmed from CT scans that there were many fractures to the left side of her face and her nose was probably broken as well. They quickly admitted Jan to the hospital which is where she is still tonight.

I've been working at Bruegers and so needed to go to work from 7 - 2. I called into work around 5:30 explaining the situation but they needed me to come in. My mind was pre-occupied and the 7 hours seemed like 70. I returned to the hospital after my shift. I was happy to see my dad and to see that they had cleaned Jan's face up quite a bit and it looked much better. The doctors are continuing to examine x-rays and look at test results to see what may have caused the fall in the first place and what (possible) surgeries or other things may need to happen to speed up the healing process.

I am amazed at how life can change in a mere second. Makes you grateful for so many things. I guess to take seriously what Jesus says in John 10:10 to live life to the fullest. Something I am learning over and over again always.

I had a second interview this week at a church in Vadnais Heights for a children's and youth position and am continuing to apply for jobs in related Youth Ministry fields. It's really where I feel called.

2009-10-17T19:05:00.000-07:00

Another week has gone by, its sometimes hard to believe how quickly time can pass. THis week I've found myself going through some grieving. Grieving in the 3 areas of my life. One is my New Dawn Team. We shared so many ups and downs and well experienced a lot together and a whole year. It's just so different to dive back into real life again. I think my teammates are feeling some similar feelings. I have heard from all of them this past week, which I find to be neat. I'm beginning the process of processing it all. I feel like I have grown as a person in many ways and am continuing to grow as a person as I process and continue to learn things.

The second grieving is with my mom. My days with her are different some good and many really hard. I was really blessed this week to have a really good day with her. We went rean some errands together than had lunch with my God mom Carole. Mom was pretty alert and even made eye contact on a few occassions. It was a nice afternoon.

I started working this week at Bruegers Bagels. It's part time but has been nice to start something and to know a paycheck (small but still) will be coming in soon. The people I work with are really nice and the job is actually pretty fun. I get to talk to a lot of neat people each day. I feel blessed to be working there but it's hard to put my heart into it fully because I feel my true calling is youth ministry. I will continue to pursue opportunities until the right door opens. I am excited for a second interview this week at a church for Director of Children, YOuth and families. My interview is on Wednesday evening.

I'm continuing to read through the Psalms and have begun journaling again. I've enjoyed good time with my family. I've seen a lot of my sister Tracy and my nephew Christian which is really nice.

Thats all for now!

Love, Kristine

2009-10-06T20:14:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I took my mom to get her hair cut. We have begun taking her to a place inside the Southdale Mall. It was a tough day. I felt like nothing could go right. It's hard to really explain it all in this form and if you aren't familiar with my mom's current health or the disease it won't make much sense. But to sum it up just a hard time together. I find myself leaving some of my times with her lately feeling totally drained and questioning a lot. It was nice then Saturday evening to celebrate my sister Tracy's husband John's birthday. We had a small party/get together for him. It was fun and even relaxing at times.

Sunday, I enjoyed attending church at All Saints and Jennifer's last day as the Children's Director. Nice to see some old faces. It was especially nice to see my old co-worker/Pastor Raita. She gave me some really great encouragement. Yesterday (Monday) I got up early and attended a job transition group at Wooddale Church in Eden Prairie. I found it to be very helpful. They teach a lot about morale, job positions, networking, etc. Afterwards I began going to a bible study at my home church.

I feel a lot of discontentment and am restless as I wait for what is next. It's tough and takes a lot out of me. I am trying to keep a good attitude and to keep "my chin up". I've been exercising and trying to eat healthier. I've been applying to jobs and waiting to hear from people. Your continued prayers are appreciated. I've been trying to make my main focus on God's will and trusting in His provision. I know He's got something planned and I think when the right thing comes along that discontentment will disappear.

I am estatic about the Twins Win and the Vikings for that matter. My sister and I are Minnesota Twins and have followed them since we were 7 so it's all just really exciting.

Love, Kristine

Tuesday

2009-09-29T20:21:00.000-07:00

Seems like these weeks are all running together a bit. I got a little encouragement today I think I got a part time job at Brueger's Bagels. I also interviewed on Sunday at a Starbucks and have a second interview with them on Thursday so that is also good news. I am excited about those things but deep down in my heart I want to be in Youth Ministry. It's where I feel called. I am still in the running for a few church jobs and am applying to more places like that each day. I just need to remain more patient.

I could also be better with my free time right now. I feel called to write a book in the next 10 years. So, I have been encouraged to start writing that now, bit by bit. So, I am going to try and buckle down and get some stories written for it. It's going to be a story about my life.

I'm also getting the itch for marriage. This week two of my close friends got engaged and with watching my mom's health decline it just makes me want a wedding more and more. And of course not just a wedding but a husband and family.

These are just my random thoughts for the day.

Love, Kristine

Continuing to learn the P Word

2009-09-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday evening now, so another week has gone by. It was a pretty good week for me. I was blessed to have 4 job interviews at different places. They were mostly retail places. They didn't seem very interested in me (except for one) but will see. I think the things I've realized as I have written before is that I feel so called to work with people in some capacity. Now, I know that can be done anywhere from a gas station to a church. Today I was at an interview at a Starbucks (i know right how awesome would that be) I could feel myself at the begining giving so much to the interview and by the end losing so much motivation because I have come to have such a fear of rejection in these interviews. I think though in the end maybe God is calling me to be there (and if so that's great)but I really feel called to ministry in the church or in some other capacity. I still have a few job leads out there and will hear back from some places this week. So, heres hoping and praying for some really good news.

I spent some time this week with my mom. On saturday evening we went out for dinner together at Baker's Square. I have never seen a person eat a waffle so quickly. I watched her smile from ear to ear because she was so happy to be out of the house. Her feet were even swinging back and forth underneath the booth. We drank coffe together and I tried to show her some pictures that were in my wallet. We talked about different things like her dad and my dad and a lot about the place she is living in now. At some point it dawned on me that its been a really long time since I have heard my mom call me by my name. It didn't hit me until that moment that when she sees me she looks at me and loses a breath at times but never says my name. So, at dinner time I asked mom "what's my name" she looked at me and said "Tracy"(my twin sisters name). I worked with her some more and said "no, who is the other twin" and she couldn't come up with my name. Some times I would tell her my name then immediately after that ask her my name and she couldn't do that. After I left I first shrugged it off as to not affecting me but it has. It's just hard for me to believe that the person who gave you your name all of a sudden doesn't remember it (even after 31 years). Dimentia is such a strange disease.

As always my mom can use some prayers. I will say though besides the name thing we had a really nice time together.

THank you for your continued prayers! I've been praying a lot too for you!

Love, Kristine

2009-09-22T21:52:00.000-07:00

I had a few more interviews this week. I'm beginning to be more convicted that I need to be trusting in the calling that I feel like God is giving me and that is ministry and working with people. Not that that can't be done in many ways. Today I had an interview to work at retail place. It was tough on me. The person who interviewed me was rushed, never looked me in they eye, never smiled and in the end when I assumed I'd be offered something on the spot she said they would review things and let me know if they would have me back for a second interview. It's so hard to be patient with bills coming and other demands most of which require money stacking up. But I know I need to be. Ironically enough when I got home this morning after my interview I read in the book I am reading about being and thinking positive. I find that to be so tough with so many rejections and frustrations. What a difference it makes though if I choose to think positive and to flip around my negative thoughts into positive ones.

I spent the weekend helping out with the ropes course at Wapo. I also had my first experience of bailing hay. We (me and three others)baled it for four hours. It was actually quite enjoyable.

Tonight I spent time with my mom. We had a nice time together. It always wears on me quite a bit. It seems like each time I see her she declines a little more. It's hard to explain it all.

Prayer Requests:
JOB
Patience and trust in God's provision
My mom

Thanks! Kristine

Update!

2009-09-16T20:51:00.000-07:00

Since Monday I have had three interviews at three different churches. I feel like God is blessing me with some great opportunities and with some great support from people. There are time when I get quite frustrated and down on myself and other times that I don't. I will get some news this week about a job that I interviewed for this week so we'll see.

Today we moved my mom into her new place. The move went very well. Tommy and Teresa did most of the work and did a very nice job making her apartment look really nice. Her new place provides for her more living room and more care which is really nice. She enjoyed her first half of day there. We'll continue to see how things go.

I also have to see that I was severly dissappointed in the winner of America's Got Talent. You know it's funny I went over 6 months without watching a television and how quickly you can get back into things again.

I have reached the point of patience and peace again for the time being. I've been reading through the books of Isiah and Psalms at night. Good books of the Bible!

Kristine

Saturday

2009-09-12T20:06:00.001-07:00

I spent most of the day today up at Camp Wapo. I went up to help with the high and low ropes course events for about 5 hours. It was fun to back up there although made for a long day.

This week I received what I believe to be the final in rejections for church jobs that I had applied to. I made it to the final two at the church in Marine on the St. Croix but then offered it to the other candidate and she accepted. I am assuming that the position in Sartell is being offered to someone else or they are starting the process over since I haven't heard from anyone and I have left a phone message and two e-mails. I finally sent them a thank you card this week. Saying thanks for the opportunity to interview and wishing them the best of luck in their search.

I have been applying to places quite often, it seems almost everyday. I have two interviews lined up this week at churches (Monday and Tuesday). I grateful for those opportunities. I am also hoping to hear back this week in hopes for an interview at another place that I applied to. I just need to be patient. I'm trusting in God's provision for things such as food, gas and RENT.

I've found a new hobby... running. well I am trying quite hard (but not to hard). I am working on conditioning my body for it. It's always been a hard thing for me because of my exercise induced asthma but it's been working out pretty good thus far. My musces are quite sore. I'm trying to remember to stretch lot and eventually i'll work on diet thing, but i've been trying not to drink soda which can be a pretty big step for me.

We will be moving our mom this week into her new place. It's a hard transition for us all. Watching her health decline so rapidly has been quite the transition that's for sure. It's happened much quicker than we all anticipated. Her new building will be just two down from the building that she is in now and will provide for her much morecare and hopefully attention.

Thank you for the continued prayers!

Love, Kristine

2009-09-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

It's offically been two weeks now since I have been done with camp. I am still applying for jobs and waiting patiently to hear from the right place. Of course it gets discouraging and even a bit frustrating, i trust that God will provide the right place for both parties.

It's been fun to catch up with people I haven't seen in a while. This week I went to the Chanhassen Dinner Theatre with my friend Karen. Her son Abe was in Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoats so we went to watch him. It was very fun and the show was very good! YEsterday I saw a friend I hadn't seen in five years. Her name is Kristen and we've been friends for the past 11 years off and on (not because of friction just because of distance, etc.). It was really fun to see her and to meet her four boys. I've spent a lot of time with my sister Tracy and my nephew Christian and my mom. Last night I talked with my friend Jennie from Singapore on Skype for over an hour. Technology is amazing isn't it.

I've heard from all of my teammates this week which has been neat. Sarah is busy working at Camp Lakeview, Jackie is helping with Youth ENcounter training, Julia will be starting seminary and JOn and I are both looking for jobs.

I've also been able to catch up on rest, bible reading and exercise. I'm trying to not be discouraged but to be hopeful in the right opportunity coming soon. Thanks for your support and prayers.

Kristine

Brittany

2009-08-29T19:54:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went back to Wapo to help out with the Ropes Course. Since I am a trained facilitator I can come back and work retreats and earn some extra money so that is nice. ON Friday the new Youth Encounter Teams came up for some ropes initiatives. After going through the training stuff a girl named Brittany came up to me. She told me she had cerebal palasy and was wondering if it would be okay for her to climb. She was concerned because she has no movement in the right side of her body. I told her to give it a try.

Brittany came over and began to climb the Floating Islands. This requires her to climb up a pole then walk across some boards about 40 ft in the air then come down. I Have to be honest I didn't think she would make it very far but encouraged her as best as I could to climb. Myself and Donna who is one of the directors at Youth Encounter watched and coached her on. Brittany made it up the ladder first then half way up the pole then all the way up the pole and across the islands and then we brought her down. Donna and I watcher her with tears coming down our faces. What an accomplishment for her. I was and am so proud of her! It made me think of Philipians where the Apostle Paul says "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". So many times this summer we've heard from kids coming on the course "I can't", "I'm to afraid", .... Brittany proved so much. HOw neat!!!

I returned back to my house tonight (Saturday). I am still awaiting a job. I am going to apply to a place called ACR homes next week. It's a place for people with disabilities. I have some friends that work for them so I am excited to apply. I am feeling confident and placing my trust in God daily sometimes many times aday which is giving me peace.

Thanks for your continued Prayers!

Kristine